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Cindy: You're one beautiful lady short tonight, Dex! I've got a date! Zoë: So, Dex, would you rather spend your night in a drunken stupor with a bunch of Neanderthals, tripping over logs and belching at each other? -- Max: Torg, man, you're pretty cool! *Belch!* Torg: *Belch*! We're, like, belching at each other! Bert: **I have smelt this puddle of beer and am BUZZED, I tell you! BUZZED!** Smit: Sorry, guys, it's been fun, but I got a date! -- Angela: Do you know when Torg will be back? Zoë: When he comes-to most likely. Flaky: "One will never come-to again. One will never return. We shall join the dead, one at a time. And all our souls shall burn." -- Dex: There "Flaky" goes again! Fay: Flaky? Did you get a premonition? Flaky: No. Goth fortune cookie. -- Dex: Mine says "Just die, you big dumb jerk!" Anybody want to trade? Zoë: This is the last time we order Goth-Chinese-Take-Out! Who wants my "Angst-Fried Rice"? Flaky: The "Wurld-so-dum" is pretty good! Fay: Dibs on the "General Tso Whut"! -- Header: Sluggy Freelance | KITTEN Cindy: Finally alone! Smit: Yeah, baby! -- Cindy: I don't know about you, but Flaky's giving me the creeps. And with all of us college kids out in the woods tonight, I almost feel like I'm in some weird low budget slasher flick! Smit: God, I hope not! The black guy always dies in those! Cindy: Well, what about me? I'm the obviously promiscuous one who'd get axed right after my topless scene! -- Smit: Yeah, I'd probably go out with some stupid-ass pun like "I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached to my neck!" Cindy: Yeah, then your head would land in my lap, causing me to go screeching through the woods yelling stuff like... -- Cindy: /**LOOK OUT! KITTEN!**/ -- Kitten (sitting in the middle of the road): **mew.** -- <***Swerve!***> -- <***Crash!***> (Smit's van crashes into a tree) -- Cindy: Smit? Are you all right? Smit: Yeah. Thank God for seat-belts. -- Smit: So, about that topless scene... Cindy: Smit? You just totaled your van. Maybe you should quit while you're ahead! -- (The kitten slashes Smit's head off and it lands in Cindy's lap) <**SSSLASH!**> <***POP***> -- Cindy (struggling to get out of the car): ***EEEEEAAAAAAAA!*** -- Cindy (on the ground, where she fell getting out of the car): **EEEEEAAAAAAAA!** -- Cindy (running away through the woods): **EEEEEAAAAAAAA!** Kitten: **mew.** -- Bun-bun: Hi! I'm supposed to be narrating this thing, but I really don't have too much to add. Oh, I would like to commend the creator of this Sunday strip. It's the first one to really scare me. It's scary how badly we telegraphed that punchline. Here's to hoping for that topless scene. | Flag | ||||
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-- (Cindy trips over a tree branch) <***TRIP!***> -- Cindy (falling): **HELP ME!** -- (Cindy trips over a rock) <***TRIP!***> -- Cindy (falling): **ANYONE!** -- (Cindy trips over a log) <***TRIP!***> -- Cindy (falling): **PLEASE!** -- (Max sticks his foot out in front of her) <***TRIP!***> -- Torg: Dude! I know she tripped twenty times over the last 5 yards. But that was cold! Max: Couldn't help myself! Cindy (off panel; on the ground): **EEEEEEE!** | Flag | ||||
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Cindy: *Torg, you let me die! You couldn't save me, but they want you back, Torg,* *~they want you all back.~* -- Torg: And you are... Cindy: I'm Cindy! Don't you remember? Torg: Vaguely. I thought your name was Faye. Cindy: *I was ripped in half by a kitten right in front of you!* -- (Torg looks uncomfortable; Cindy is angry) Torg: Oh yeah! Hey, you're looking good considering. Um, you've got a little food on the side of your mouth... I had a napkin around here... Cindy: *Torg's walking around high school in Spiderman Underoos!* -- (Torg is suddenly standing in front of a classroom wearing nothing but Spiderman briefs; graffiti on the blackboard reads "Louzr" and "Duh" with arrows pointing to Torg) Torg: *I am not...* /Hey!/ **EEEK!** </End of Torg's dream> -- Torg (waking up; still wearing his vampire costume): **(*)GASP!(*)** -- (Torg shuts his eyes hard and crosses his arms over his chest) Zoë (Off panel): *Torg, is that you?* Torg: I'm here, Zoë! Someone turn on the lights, I just had the worst nightmare! | Flag | ||||
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Torg: What's after you? -- Cindy: **THE KITTEN!** <***SLASH!***> -- Max: *Dude!* I always wanted to see Cindy topless! Kitten: **mew.** (Cindy's lower half is freestanding) Torg (holding Cindy's upper half): *AAAAH! Quick! Do you know CPR?!? -- Max (running away): Sorry about that "topless" comment. Poor taste, I know. Speaking of things that taste poorly... Torg (running away): Keep your "CPR" jokes to yourself! (off-panel) <**CHOMP**> <**CHEW**> <**SLASH!**> Kitten (off-panel): **mew.** (Cindy's arm is tossed into the panel) | Flag | ||||
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=== Zoë: Cindy, I know this is important to you, but I /*am*/ going to go swimming. Gwynn (aka Cindy): You act like you don't believe me! *It's dangerous out there!* -- Zoë: Well... Gwynn (aka Cindy): I'm /telling you,/ last time I went swimming a salmon got tangled up in my bathing suit and dragged me out to sea! /I nearly drowned!/ -- Zoë: That was a fluke. Gwynn (aka Cindy): Well it *looked like a salmon* to *me,* and you're missing the point! === NOTE: Ref: _First Partially Sluggy Week_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20031110> | _Second Partially Sluggy Week_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/120305> | _Origin of today's 'Clip Art'_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/19980701>. | Flag | ||||
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Girl #1: I'm walking home. Girl #2: Me too. *Worst sleep over /ever!/* What was that /"magic" crap/ about? -- Girl #1: Hey, Cindy's been through a lot. Maybe that's why she's weird. Girl #2: Cindy Tombs was weird /*before*/ her father died. -- Cindy Tombs (aka Cynthia Tombsy): I don't /understand,/ Jzaxil. The spell worked to /charm/ them into coming to the sleepover, but the obedience-spell undid the charm and *didn't work!* Jzaxil (reading from a Cue Card): You need more power, Cindy Tombs. have you heard of the... hold on... "The Magus Inter-i-tus In-fun-di-bu-lum"? === NOTE: Ref: _Father_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=73#2021-11-30> | _Jzaxil_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=73#2022-07-21> | _Magus Interitus Infundibulum_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=73#2022-09-14>. | Flag | ||||
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Zoë: Dex, you spend so much time talking about Torg. Are you sure you don't want him up there with you? Dex: As long as Torg doesn't burst in the cabin screaming, I promise you he'll be the last thing on our minds. -- Torg (off panel; outside): /**They're dead! Cindy and Smit are dead! Everyone!!!**/ Dex: *I'm going to kick Torg's ass!* Zoë: Torg's covered in blood! This isn't a joke! -- Zoë: *Torg! What is it?* Fay: What happened? Angela: Cindy and Smit are *dead?* -- Kitten: **mew.** (Torg looks terrified) -- Torg (pointing at the kitten): /**It was the kitten that killed them! Keep away from the kitten!**/ Zoë: Feel free to kick Torg's butt now. Dex: Grrrr === Transcriber's note: I'm not sure whether it's relevant or not, but Zoë is wearing a shirt with a diamond on it -- on this night of all nights.... | Flag | ||||
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=== Gwynn (making a crazy-dur face): And I was like "Duh Mister Stupid-Head, get out of my life!" I /never/ should have stolen him from you, Cindy. Zoë: Yeah. -- (silence) -- Gwynn: Wow, this neck-spasm is /*really*/ hurting and feels weird. You're /sure/ I look OK, Cindy? Zoë: You look perfect to me. === NOTE: Ref: _Origin of today's 'Clip Art'_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20030119>. | Flag | ||||
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Zoë (applying a compress to Dex's head): _grrrrrr_ Max: What a vacation! Smit and Cindy are dead. My best bud Dex is dying. And I've been running around all night with a rock stuck in my shoe! <***WAP***> (In the background, Fay is reaching for the cupboard) -- Fay (off panel): **REGGIE!?!** (Reggie's head falls out of the cupboard) <***THUD!***> -- Flakey: **WHAT?** Fay: **OH NO! IT GOT REGGIE!** -- Max: *Wait a minute*! If the kitten is up in the tree, how did Reggie's head get planted in the cupboard? -- Max: **Unless the /REAL/ killer is one of us!** --- Comic Footer: Due to manipulative head-games, this comic may not be suitable for all audiences. | Flag | ||||
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College Co-ed #2: I'm so excited, guys! A whole week relaxing, away from all the stress at college! Sign: Welcome to WISPYDALE. Home of the cheap cabins in the woods for vacationing coeds! -- Cindy: *Whoa!* Look at that bloody pile of guts! Zoë: Oh *gross!* What *was* it? Smit: Must have been a deer, that's all. -- College Co-ed: Yes, it must have been a deer. Only a deer. Badge (next to a sheriff's hat on the road -- next to the bloody pile of guts): SHERIFF -- Deer: *Sheriff Deer was murdered!* Hit by a truck and left by the side of the road! We must *avenge* him, Deputy Deer! Deputy Deer: Not in *this* storyline, but *someday!* | Flag | ||||
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-- Store Sign: Glee's GENERAL STORE Sign: OPEN Sign: Tabbaky cheap! -- Max: I'm *Max!* That's short for *"Maximum Chuggage"* 'cause I'm the master at the inverted-keg-lap! And this is *Fay!* I'm not sure what "Fay" is short for. Fay: My sudden desire to *"Fay"-d* into nothingness? -- Max: That's *Smit,* the man with the van. He knows more about cars than anybody I know. He owns about ten of them, all kinds. Yup, he's rich! And that's *Cindy!* Not much more to her than what you see, but who needs more, eh? -- Max: That guy over there is *Dex!* He's my best-bud, I'd die for that guy! And that girl on his arm is *Zoë.* They just hooked up, but it won't last. It takes a special girl to win the heart of the *Dex-Man!* -- Max: Speaking of which, that's *Angela!* She's been dating Dex on and off for years! She normally gets all jealous when Dex dates other women, but this time it looks like she might be trying to make *him* jealous by pretending to be interested in Zoë's friend, *Torg!* -- Max: Now, I don't know Torg, but he seems like a dork. Plus he invited that weird guy, *Bert.* He's always complaining about what is or ain't "art". Bert's so weird, we wouldn't let him in the van, he has to drive behind us on his stupid moped. -- Max: Then again, Bert's only slightly weirder than that chick over there. Don't know her real name, but we all call her *"Flaky"* Flaky knits more than my grandmother and thinks she's a psychic. Don't have to be psychic to know why she's hanging out with *Reggie!* He's the man to see if you want to get happy, if you know what I mean, and I *know* you do! Sign under Mr. Glee: Valid I.D. fer booze! Dag Nabbit! -- Mr. Glee: **WHEN I SAID "WHO THE HELL DO YOU KIDS THINK YOU ARE!?!" I WASN'T EXPECTING A DAMN ANSWER!** Mrs. Glee: Oh don't mind my husband. Mr. Glee is just a bit grumpy! I'm Mrs. Glee, but you can call me "Plot Device to Determine Setting". -- Mr. Glee: **DAG-NABIT!** Mrs. Glee: Welcome to Wispydale! Where are you kids staying? Max: We rented one of them Wispydale cabins, ma'am! Mrs. Glee: *Lovely!* Be sure to say hi to your neighbors, the Traipsey brothers! They're about a mile south of you! -- Bun-Bun: Is a kitten going to spell doom for these kids? Is Mrs. Glee just a plot device? Will I put up with doing the narration for this story? The only things you can be sure of, are that there is evil loose in Wispydale, and that this comic won't wrap with a punchline. -- Bun-Bun: This just in: So the Polish guy says "I saw the 7 o'clock news too, but I didn't think he'd jump again at 11." -- Bun-Bun: I stand corrected. | Flag | ||||
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One of the gang: It's *great,* Dex! Reggie: *Dude!* -- Torg: We've got two rooms of bunks. I guess one's for the guys and one's for the girls? Cindy: There's a second floor loft for whoever wants to sneak away from the chaperones! Wink, wink! -- Fay: All we have is a crappy wood stove, and a half-working fridge. Zoë: It'll do as long as we can run into town for food. -- Dex: I *did* spring extra to get the cabin with running water and a fully functioning bathroom with shower! Or I should say, our college has graciously paid for this "study-retreat"! Max: And even sprung for the beer! Bert: /**You, Sir, are a cad, using student funds to finance your collegiate playground!**/ -- Dex: Aren't you the guy who used student funds to buy a thousand pairs of underwear to build that giant crotch-sculpture? Bert: /**BUT THAT WAS ART!**/ Max: Boy, he's a little testy! | Flag | ||||
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Max: Who's up for a ghost story? Reggie: I just made up this really cool ghost story! Dex: Nobody tells ghost stories better than me! Cindy: Dex, you always hog the spotlight! Go for it, Reggie! -- Reggie: This is the story called.. um... /*The Fourth of July Slasher!*/ One day, this scientist dude decided that cloning George Washington from his teeth would be a cool thing to do for the Fourth of July! -- Reggie: But he didn't know that George Washington's teeth were made of wood, so he accidentally created a *wooden* George Washington! -- Reggie: Only *this* wooden George Washington was *evil!* Like, as revenge for the cherry tree? He'd cut down people? And then, like, *lie* about it? -- Reggie: And then he stole the land from the wooden Indians, man! -- Reggie: And when he got pissed, he'd sprout these leaves that were major-funky when you smoked 'em. -- Reggie: Dude, what were we talking about? -- Caption: This has been another great moment in Fourth of July horror. Thank you, and happy Fourth! | Flag | ||||
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Cynthia Tombs: Sin'thea La'Mort? It's an honor! Sin'thea: How shall I make this out? Cynthia: My names [sic: should be "name's"] Cynthia too! Make it out to /"Cindy Tombs"/? -- Jzaxil (reading from a cue card): This information, combined with the demonic secrets, will set your path. Cynthia: Jzaxil, are you reading from cue cards /again?/ (Cynthia is walking by a sign that reads: "SIGNING TODAY | Fate-MAGiC | by Sin'Thea La'Mort" -- Jzaxil: Ones I totally wrote. I just want to get my words right. Cynthia: Don't make me /suspicious, old friend. Id hate to have to rip *your* secrets out one day! Jzaxil (making the cue card disappear) Me too. <**poof**> === NOTE: Ref: _Sin'Thea La'Mort_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=70#2017-04-04> | _Sin'Thea La-Mort and Fate Magic_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=69#2016-12-02> | _Fate Magic_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=71#2018-05-21>. | Flag |