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-- Riff (hanging his head): I dunno. -- Riff (still hanging his head): Goodbye Sasha. -- <**GLUG**> -- (Riff glumly passes the bottle to Bun-Bun...) -- Bun-Bun: Sasha might have been a low-down snake-in-the-grass but she was smart enough to not steal and guzzle my top-end booze, and try to hide Oasis from me in my own damn casino! -- Bun-Bun: To Sasha! The smart one! You three will be seeing her soon. <**GLUG**> -- (Bun-Bun slams the bottle back down on the table) <**Clunk.**> -- (Terrified, the boys have both leaped onto Izzy, who is holding them both like a mom; Bun-Bun glares at them...) -- (...while Bun-Bun continues to glare at them...) Izzy: *Wer*-nah *sgared* of yu! | Flag | ||||
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--- Panel Caption: NEMOVIRLEN ANIMAL TESTING LAB O1: TEAM "WALKING" LEADERS SLAPPYDODO (Cages of different types of animals kept for testing; two of the cages have spider webs, and at least two have markings that appear to be consistent with the cult) -- Slappyhoho-dodo: Riff provided us an H-NOM virus enhanced phone. It'll make all the animals turn into zombies and want to eat us. Fotojournjourn: Is that a good plan? Slappyhoho-dodo: I'm only going to expose them long enough for you to take the pic, Fotojournjourn! (Under a poster that says "Remember to wash your hands after testing animals", an hC guard is sitting against the wall, tied up and gagged) -- Panel Caption: HOUSE OF CHEESE CORPORATE OFFICES: TEAM "CHEWING GUM" LEADER SKIMPYMOOMOO Skimpymoomoo: That's the real ingredients and nutritional information on the House of Cheese's Shephard's pie pizza?!? Ninja-dressed elf: Ewe. Paper taped to the laptop: My Password: C0rsiKA -- (In a central circle is Percy; the comic is drawn to represent incoming information (zombie animals and pizza ingredients) going in to Percy and then going out to various media outlets and information on Crushestro going to the Pentagon; surrounding Percy are the words "IN PERCY WE TRUST | INFO PLURIBUS BROKER") -- Panel Caption: VARIOUS MEDIA NEWS OUTLETS (shown as receiving data, and displayed as channel logos: "NIFTY NEWS 50", "CNNN", "FOX YOU!" "MSNBCNN", "The Timely Times", and "BBCNN") -- Panel Caption: EQUINOX HACKING DEPARTMENT: TEAM "MOSTLY SOBER SLIGHTLY CRANKY" LEADER ISABELLA ABATO Izzy: Yes, I designed the REA coordination software. No, I can't hack into it or delete it. I can get through enough to use a denial of service attack. And yes I hate you all right now. (Hurt Star emanating from Izzy's head; indicating a hangover headache; a large cup of "WAKE NOG" on the desk next to her) -- Panel Caption: THE PENTAGON: Underling: The REA-coordination program just locked up! *We can't get it back!* General: We'll have units in the field /later today!/ That tech *needs* to be reliable! Underling #2: *Sir!* I have a lead. "Crushestro Inc," a Hereti-Corp competitor, may have their own version of coordination software! General: Put me through! Underling #2: Immediately, General! -- Crushestro (on Pentagon computer screen): Yes, general. What can we help you with? === NOTE: Refs: "_H-Nom Virus_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/120131>" (it wasn't referred to as that before this comic, I don't think.), _in Riff's possession_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/120229>. Or you can just start reading about The NOM _here_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/120102>. | Flag | ||||
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-- (Close-up of the Condor-mechs) -- Translator-bot: Three flying REA-units inbound from the south east! Isabella Abato (aka Izzy): *Condors!* They'll be able to hover out of our range and still flux us on the ground! /Time to run for it!/ -- Riff: Izzy, you should know by now I never 'run away'. I mean to my best recolection [sic: should be "recollection"] I have never done that. Anywho let's bring the fight to them! *Turbo-jumpjets-maxx!!!* -- <*CLAMP*> <*SNAP*> <***Ffff...***> (Wings on the Mark-24 unfold and snap into place - jump jets light up) -- <***fooo...***> (The Mark-24 flies directly towards the three Condor-mechs) <*KRAK*> Condor-mech #1 (now holding onto a broken wing from the Mark-24): *Whoah!* <***CLONG!***> Condor-mech #2: *Watch it, man!* <*SNAP*> <**GROINGgg**> Condor-mech #3 (now holding onto the other broken wing from the Mark-24): *That's gonna leave a mark!* <***...OOSH!***> -- Riff (unseen; inside the now veering out of control Mark-24): ***IT'S AAAAA...***> -- Riff (unseen; apparently inside the now plummeting to earth Mark-24): <***...FEATUREEEEEEE***> -- <*****BOOM!*****> | Flag | ||||
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Condor REA hC Agent #2: Our orders are clear! Kill Riff. Do not flux him. I have a visual. Condor REA hC Agent #3: Yeah, well, I'm not sure where my next paycheck is coming from and we each have a multi-million dollar vehicle we can sell! I'm going to go do that. C'ya! -- <***ZAPPO***> -- Condor REA hC Agent #2: No you're not. -- Condor REA hC Agent #2: Anybody else want to mutiny against... <***ZAPPO***> -- Condor REA hC Agent #1: Hey! Condor REA hC Agent #4: *Freeze!* Condor REA hC Agent #5: /*Back off!*/ -- <***ZAPPO***> <***ZAPPO***> <***ZAPPO***> Riff: Never mind. They seem to be taking care of themselves. Isabell Abato (aka Izzy; off panel; over the communications link): Hold up, Torg checking in! -- Torg: Izzy? I think I saw Kusari and Chen on a motorcycle or dirt bike or something. They were heading into the woods. I've gotta check that out! | Flag | ||||
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Riff: Schlock was trying to bargain a deal with me and he offered to tell me how to "pull the plug" on the artificial intelligence. | In the alternate dimension where I was trapped in "4U City", the city was run by an A.I. linked with a human in a hardwired chamber. I literally just had to pull the plug on it. -- Riff: And assuming this A.I. is along a parallel research line as the 4U City one... <***KLAK!***> (A human connection chamber opens up...) Riff: *Yep!* /Human-interaction chamber!/ -- Gwynn (concerned): So you plug yourself into all of that and you can work with the A.I., to release the airlock and let the ships leave? -- Riff (on the floor removing a cover): Too early in the development stage to attempt it. Might fry your brain. But... -- Riff: /*Tada!*/ Hard wire! -- Riff (pulling the plug): Easiest "saving our asses" /*evarrr!*/ <DOMP!> -- (The A.I. eye icon on the viewscreen) -- (The A.I. eye icon fading from the viewscreen) <**bip.**> -- Gwynn: Great! With the A.I. down, you guys can go home. I'm staying on the station. Riff: /*WHAT?*? -- Isabella Abato (aka: Izzy; from the viewscreen): /**[KSSSHHHT...]** ...all going to die if you don't get off that station *now!*/ -- Gwynn: I am totally not staying on this station. === NOTE: The following refs involve *MAJOR 4U City spoilers.* You should go read it, if you haven't, before following links. *The Complete 4U City:* _758449_ <http://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=090831> | _A 4U City Christmas_ <http://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=091221> | _4U City Green_ <http://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=100322> | _4U City Blue_ <http://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=100510> | _4U City Red_ <http://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=110214>. *This Comic's 4U related Ref Links:* "_Pull the plug_ <http://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=180921>" | _The Chamber_ <http://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=110503> | _The Chamber is Hardwired_ <http://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=110511> | _A.I. in the Chamber_ <http://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=110602> | _Plug Pulled_ <http://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=110603>. *And Regular Ol' Ref: _Izzy last seen_ <http://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=180216> | _Gwynn Staying_ <http://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=181109>. | Flag | ||||
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Zoë (walking up the stairs with a large bag of Lizard Kibble and talking on the phone to Gwynn): Izzy was only able to siphon /some/ of the funds to the fake identities she gave us. -- Zoë (in a 'play' room set up in the attic; having put the large bag of Lizard Kibble down): Multiple 'safe houses' and advanced technology-toys over the years have been a drain. Not to mention this house. /Plus/ all your expenses. And Aylee's the only one whose [sic: should be "who's"] worked a job in the last year, and /that's/ when she was possessed by Lacey. -- Trevors (knocking Zoë over): **ARK! | ARK!** -- Zoë (hugging the Trevors as they 'hug' her): Hey Trevors! | How are you boys? Gwynn (off panel; over the phone): Aw, hug the Trevors for me. Still locking them in the attic? -- Zoë (off panel; over the phone): It's not like we can let them fly free. And they attack Torg almost every chance they get. Gwynn (laughing): Animals are better judges of character than people sometimes. -- Torg (off panel; from downstairs): Zoë? Where's our copy of Meatopoly? Zoë (shouting downstairs): *It's in the board-game closet, Torg!* Trevors (Trevor eating out of a bowl labeled "Trevor" and Other Trevor eating out of a bowl labeled "Other Trevor"): **MUNCH! | MUNCH!** -- Torg (off panel; from downstairs): It's not! I checked! Zoë (shouting downstairs): *It's behind the Kettlers of Satán game! /Look harder!/* -- Zoë (back to talking to Gwynn on the phone): Speaking of Izzy, there's something else we need to talk about. === NOTE: Ref: There's a ton of refs I could dig up for tech and 'Safe houses' but I'll limit it to the mention of a _job_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=73#2022-06-21>. Oh, and of course '_Kettlers of Satan_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=63#2012-03-01>'. | Flag | ||||
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Zoë: Don't you ever want to just go back to our normal lives? Hold on. -- Zoë: Aylee, I really think you should find a normal cake recipe instead of one generated by "ChatPCP(*)." Aylee (looking on her "Alien? Where? laptop, with Kiki over her shoulder): But I appreciate the intensity, and it does /*sound*/ like a cake recipe! Eggs, butter, flour, illusions of euphoria with added wanton violence...! Footnote: (*) A.I. Chat Powered by Phencyclidine -- Aylee (off panel): And it's walking us through it step by step! Kiki: What's the next step? -- Aylee: Sift the white powder and don't stop! *Don't stop till [sic: should be "'til"] you've sift [sic: should be "you've sifted" or "you sift"] it /*alll!!!*/ Kiki: *I'm on it!* -- Zoë: Listen, Gwynn. Hereti-Corp is gone, the Bug is imprisoned, the demon cult of the Bug is booked or destroyed. It feels like the target is finally off us. Gwynn (off panel; over the phone): Zoë, believe me it is /*not!* Why/ are you even considering this? <SIFT> <**SIFT!**> <***SIFT!***> <*SIFT!*> -- Zoë: Maybe get a job with the communications degree I worked so hard on? Maybe get married to Torg with our /*real*/ names? Gwynn (off panel; over the phone): It doesn't matter what names you... /Ohh!/ Now I get it! Izzie [sic: should be "Izzy"] gave Torg the alias "Torg Hoey" So your married name'd be... -- Gwynn (off panel; over the phone): *...ZOË HOEY! /*BWA-*HA-HA-HAHA!*/ Zoë: That's almost barely not the /entire/ reason! -- Aylee (with a baseball bat raised and ready to batter): *Now, get everything in the bowl, Kiki!* Zoë (rushing in): Aylee, *what are you /doing?!?/* Aylee: "Batter up"? === NOTE: Ref: _Fake IDs_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=73#2020-08-28>. | Flag | ||||
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Comic Title: Sluggy Freelance presents: From the art desk of Torg! === Caption: TORG USES HIS ART-POWERS FOR GOOD! | Tonight's episode: Torg comes up with better wigs/hairstyles for Zoë! - (Hair Style) (comments) (Bald) Bald is hot! :) (Pageboy) The original! (Sasha) hmmm... _familiar_ (Izzy) Nice! (Min) Nicee! (Jheri curl) Naw. (goth/Avarre) <smiley google eyes> hmmm... (goth/Avarre Zoë has a tatoo of Bun-Bun on her shoulder) (Zoë/Oasis) uh... don't show Zoë this one. -Torg | Flag | ||||
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<***KA-ZAPPO***> -- (Riff stands looking at the void, his arm still up in a defensive posture; an REA unit approaches him, and smaller armed mutants start to climb out of the crater) -- Izzy: There went their heavy, right on Target! Alt-Torg: Good job calling that in, 4-9-9. The rest are small potatoes! 1-REA-5 recon, switch to personal Dee-Eff-Ays and *Fire at will!* -- <WRRRrrrrr...> -- <**ZAPPO**> <**ZAPPO**> (Riff holds his hands up defensively, and backs up) Riff: */Woah!/ I like my small potatoes where they are!* <**BRAKKA BRAKKA**> -- (Riff reaches the edge of the small crater and loses his balance, falling backwards) <**ZAPPO**> -- Riff (laying on his back, nearly upside down on the crater wall; approached by a mutant soldier holding a gun with a very sharp bayonet aimed at Riff): Lamest epitaph ever. | Flag | ||||
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Alt-Torg: I'll feel better when the rain starts up again. I can't help but feel like we're being watched out in all this light. Riff: The ground's muddy all over. How long has the rain stopped? -- Alt-Torg: Three days. That's the longest dry spell of anybody's recollection. Not surprising as most citizen's recollections have been dumbed down to two days. Riff, those outsiders are diseased. Did they injure you in any way? Riff: Nope! -- Alt-Torg (punching Riff in the face): Good to know. *You son of a bitch!* <**WAP!**> -- Alt-Torg (grabbing Riff's throat and getting ready to throw another punch): You free my mind from that city, link me into a revolution, and *abandon* me? Riff: I did what was best! Alt-Torg: *You hid like a coward!* -- Riff (returning Alt-Torg's punch in the face): *I am no coward!* <**POW!**> -- Alt-Torg: I checked the pipes in your apartment, Riff! The plastic gasket that was supposed to wear out quick, triggering the purge? You replaced it with a metal one that would never wear out. You were "4U-City" for life! -- Riff: The metal gasket had a hairline fracture in it. It would take longer to fail, but it would eventually. -- Alt-Torg: I can tell you're lying, buddy. You had no idea whether it would fail or not. -- Riff: Maybe I was leaving it up to fate. Alt-Torg (punching Riff in the face again): *FATE DOESN'T OPERATE HERE ANYMORE!* <**WAP.**> -- Riff: *WELL I'M HERE, SO MAYBE IT DOES!* <**POW.**> Izzy (from inside her REA-5): Are you boys done dancing yet? -- (They grapple with each other in a position similar to ballroom dancing) Riff (surreptitiously hitting Alt-Torg in the ribs): *We're not /mandancing!/* <*POW*> Alt-Torg: *We're /Kung-fu fighting!/* -- (They stop fighting and realize what position they're in) -- (They rapidly let go of each other) Alt-Torg: /*Ack!*/ uhhhh technically we could call it mud-wrestling? Riff: You're not helping, Torg. -- Riff: First rule of Mandance Club? Alt-Torg: Don't talk about Mandance Club. === NOTE: Ref: _Plastic Gaskets_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20090916> | _Freeing Torg_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20090930> | _Metal Gaskets_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20091002>. | Flag | ||||
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Alt-Torg (narrating): We muscled you out of your room and dragged you out on patrol with a new identity. You got your REA-5 stuck in the mud in this divot right when the cocktail started fixing your brain. We thought it best to let you empty your stomach outside of the suit, up on the ridge. Label: Six-Pack warns of incoming Outsiders Label: Torg tries to free Riff's Rea-5 from the mud Label: Izzy carries Riff to the ridge Label: Barf Label: Outsiders Caption: Recording Editable Content Application Peripheral </End flashback> -- Alt-Torg: Then we had to deal with the Outsiders. You smartened-up just in time. And here we are. Riff: A new identity? -- Alt-Torg: 758449 is no more. You've assumed the identity of *REA-5 squadmember 743464866!* Riff: That easy, huh? -- Alt-Torg: The revolution has changed. That guy you have in pipes? Nickel-3-6? Riff: His real name is Leo. -- Torg: Never heard of him before. Anywho, he is a dream for our mobility to free more revolutionaries. But Isabella here is a computer wiz who's given us an edge on using their systems against them. -- Torg: For example, executives, like that Rammer guy you mentioned, they've been using the identities of "judged" citizens for ages. Everything you need to pull it off is built into the system for them. We just 'acquired' the technique. -- Torg: So we replaced an entire REA-5 squad that got judged for listening to a squad member play a harmonica. Riff: It's illegal to play music in 4U city? But there are cheerful jingles everywhere! Torg: The random notes he played followed a banned chord progression. They were blasted into another dimension for having "the blues." -- Riff: Well they probably have them *now!* Torg: Improvisational jazz banjoists are shot on sight! === NOTE: Ref: _Rammer_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/090922>. Same _Rammer (that links to other Rammers)_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20090902>. it's like an Aries-fest! | Flag | ||||
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=== NOTE: As warned, we're having a four day weekend while I'm at _ConQuesT_ <http://wwwconquestkc.org/>! I Did not intend for there to be quite such a cliffhanger but we're in a cliffhangery section of the story. | Flag | ||||
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Riff: I thought I had a new bullet proof identity, Torg. -- Torg: Oh it'll pass casual scrutiny. But not a deep scan. You told me when you arrived and got deep-scanned by the REA-5 unit, an auto execute command went right to the ammo-nano-bots in the universal guns and they fired a lethal dose of meds into you. -- Riff: It wasn't instantly lethal. I got rescued. Alt-Torg: His masterness /knows who you are/ and /wants you dead./ I'm getting *sick* of rescuing you since all you give me is attitude. Riff: Whatever. -- Alt-Torg: You told me what happened to you, Riff. You never told me what happened to /Zoë./ -- Riff: I am not your friend Riff, and the Zoë that came with me is *not* the Zoë you're obsessed with so /what does it matter?/ Alt-Torg: I'm not your "friend Torg" either but you seem free enough to evaluate me as some fallen heartless evil bastard. What, did your Zoë get "judged?" Off to another dimension and it's all your fault? -- (Riff sits with head down, in silence; Alt-Torg looks angrily down on him) -- Riff (looking up): My mech overheated. (Alt-Torg looks with wide eyes) -- Riff: The prototype in my world for what would be your REA-5, it overheated and caught fire from the top down where Zoë sat. The emergency D.F.A. was triggered too late to save her. -- Riff: She died in my arms in the rain. Burned to death. And it was all my fault. Happy? Alt-Torg: ***YES!*** -- Alt-Torg: ***HA-HAH! WOO HOO!!!*** -- Alt-Torg: I'm sorry, I /*did*/ sound like a heartless bastard! /Gotta run!/ -- Alt-Torg (off panel): *Izzy! Wait'll you hear what that monkey who looks like your husband just told me!* Riff (picking up his wrench-bot): You /better/ run. === NOTE: Ref: _Fire_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20090804> & _Rain_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20090821>. | Flag | ||||
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Torg: Sasha, take everybody else back to our old rooms. Collect our stuff and get out of here. | Grab some of the tech we aquired, [sic: should be "acquired,"] too. Crushestro: Like my stun ray no doubt! (Kiki lays on the desk in Ferret shock over shiny Crushestro; Sam looks on with some concern) <twitch> -- Torg: And don't forge the device you've been working on to help us find Riff and Zoë. Sasha: What are *you* going to do? Torg: One way or another, this Minion Master thing is over. I'll see to it. -- (Izzy has made it all the way down the ladder through the trap door and is half way down the stair way below) -- Sasha (hugging Torg): Good luck, Torg. (Sam has already gathered up ZHOAS/Jane and has Kiki, still in ferret-shock, on his shoulder) <twitch> -- Torg: Let's go find Bestseid. You've got some skulls to crush, boss. -- Crushestro: I'm glad you've come away to my way of thinking, "minion". But for the record I do not crush the skulls of women. *Never.* It's policy. -- Torg (starting down the ladder): So how do we deal with the sister? Crushestro: We will simply have to locate a professional grade wood-chipper. Torg: Ouch. Is that policy too? Crushestro: Ever since my re-divorce? Yes! === NOTE: Ref: _Crushestro's re-ex_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/100614> | <_Stun-Ray Designs_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20091015>. | Flag | ||||
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=== Transcriber's note: See <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20101105> | Flag | ||||
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Bun-Bun: Either the location is important. Or there's something precious here that can't be moved. -- Torg: That officer mentioned a research team. Wonder what they are researching. Bun-Bun: The magic grave Oasis keeps crawling out of? -- Torg (removing his hC sunglasses): That'd [sic: should be either "That'd be" or "That's"] worth snooping around for. You were here before. Did you find any magic graves? Bun-Bun: Like I said, after I ditched Minion Master, I decided the only way to get you off my back was to find Oasis. So I came here, where I knew the base had to be. -- Torg (suspicious): The timeline doesn't add up. It was two days after you left this place and Izzy fed the data to Hereti-Corp. How could Hereti-Corp already be here? -- Bun-Bun: I didn't come straight here. I took a few days medical leave. Torg: "Medical leave?" You weren't injured! | ... -- Torg (gleeful): Your *fur!* It didn't completely grow back /did it?/ | /*You had plastic furjury!*/ (Dr. Chen is visible in the background walking past them) -- Bun-Bun (threatening): /*You're going to need "furjury" after I punch your face into hamburger! (Chen turns towards the sound of the voices and Torg falls back -- shocked) -- Torg (as Bun-Bun leaps towards him; but looking at Chen): /*gasp!*/ -- (Chen, hair long and disheveled, also looks dismayed) Nametag on Chen: Chen [hC] === NOTE: References Monday! | Flag | ||||
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White board: Riff's notes | (image of a coffee spout dripping) 1 week's worth condensed 4U "coffee" + smart detonator (image of the smart detonator) + capped tubing(*) (picture of a cap and a tube) = (image of an explosion) DA BOMB! | (*)Add shrapnel for extra fun! | Smart detonator specifications [illegible] -- (A potential revolutionary gets snatched up by an REA-6 while he's in the middle of drawing a Riff-angry-face) -- (In "Vat Offices", Torg is punching something into a keyboard; the terminal has "6-p4ck w45 h3r3" written on the side; behind Torg the REA-6's are marching out a female lab employee) -- (In her apartment Izzy is blitzed out on "happy juice" while a concerned Jeeves looks on; behind them is a poster of 'His Masterness': "His Masterness | Looking Out 4U") -- (Riff rigs a bomb in one of the REA-5 suits; arrow pointed away from him: "Move Out!") -- (Alt-Nash looks at his watch, while around the corner other security forces are being lined up and marched away) Sign held up by an REA-6: Happy Mandatory Retirement, Citizens! -- (Riff and Alt-Leo talking in the underground pipes; Riff gesturing as if explaining a plan) -- (Torg walks away from the 4U Chem-Labs, with a small smirk on his face) -- (Riff walking in the rain to "Pla-C-Boze DINERx") -- Riff: Two eggs up. -- Alt-Rammer: Keeping hope alive, I see. Riff: Here's the deal. We're all going to get a coded message at dawn, the day after tomorrow. It'll explain Torg's assault plan. You'll know it as soon as I do. -- Alt-Rammer: About destroying the Central Tower dimensional cannon? Riff: Haven't done a thing toward that goal. Nobody's asked me about it either. -- Riff: Speaking of that cannon, use this to track the REA-5 Torg will be piloting. Target him and all the REA-5's around him. One blast and the revolution crumbles leaderless. | Flag | ||||
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Riff (hands in his pockets; looking up the stairs): Let's go upstairs towards the hardwired hookup. Since there's a chance we may come face to face with 'His Masterness' I should warn you of something, Executive Rammer. Alt-Rammer: I'm all ears. -- Riff (head hung): After being responsible for Zoë's tragic death, and then somehow finding his way home, this dimension's Riff couldn't face Torg, or *any*one. He hid under the deepest rock he could find, wrapping this city around him, and teleporting all his troubles away with his inventions. | Unable to face even himself, he'd leave a standing order to destroy any Riff caught in the City and save any Zoë that washed up on his dimension shore. Alt-Rammer: What are you saying? -- Riff: I believe my dimensional counterpart built this whole city. *Riff is 'His Masterness'.* (A vision of a megalomaniacally-crazed Riff, with an eye symbol on his T-shirt and electrodes attached to his head) -- Alt-Rammer (smirking): OK now you're just being silly. Riff: *Why does everyone keep saying that?* I am /sooo/ capable of making something as cool as this city! Plus I have plenty of people issues!!! -- Alt-Rammer (skeptical): You don't seem overly organized. Riff: What about the whole revolution going on upstairs! Which *I'm kinda hiding from, I might add!* Alt-Rammer: I don't see it. Riff: Whatever. but if we find a version of me inside this building you have to give me your word you won't kill him outright. He has family still alive in the city. Izzy. -- Riff: Torg told me he thought another company stole my designed [sic: should be "designs" or "what I designed"] and built this city under the orders of a man named Irving Schlock. I can't see my dimension's Schlock doing anything like that, but if 'His Masterness' turns out to be a Dr. Schlock, I'd like you to avoid shooting [sic: should be "shooting him"] too. Just in case he can help me find a way home... (A vision of a crazed megalomaniac Schlock, with an eye symbol on his ID badge and electrodes attached to his bald head) Alt-Rammer: Agreed. -- Riff: Then again for that matter it could just be Bun-Bun running the whole show. Alt-Rammer: What's a 'Bun-Bun'? And can I shoot /*him*/ right away? Riff: You can try. (A vision of a very bored Bun-Bun, with an eye symbol in his chest fur, and electrodes attached to his brain; Bun-Bun: **Yawn**) -- Alt-Rammer: This is definitely living quarters. But it hasn't been used in a while. -- Riff: Oh it's been used. A few sets of foot prints and such moving through here. More than one person. (Alt-Rammer readies his gun) <CHKKT> === NOTE: Ref: _Where Riff got that idea_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20091001> | _What Torg (Everyone) thought of it_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20100408> | _If their location looked familiar yesterday_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20110106>.... | Flag | ||||
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-- Alt-Riff (standing by a giant monitor with an "After Dark"™ (Flying Toasters™) screen saver playing; about to put on a 'control cap'): I didn't know an alternate version of me, you, had shown up. I don't know where your Zoë is. I didn't know until today that there was a revolution or that Torg and my wife were caught up in it. -- Alt-Riff (still standing next to the large monitor, now with an image of Alt-Izzy; wearing the 'control cap'): After this morning's explosion severed all connection from the 4U City control chamber to the outside world, I investigated, and I was able to see the start of the revolution. -- Riff: A projection of Izzy from your mind? /(*)gasp(*)/ That's an advanced *R*ecording *E*ditable *C*ontent *A*pplication *P*eripheral! You're going to R.E.C.A.P., aren't you! -- Alt-Riff (angrily removing the control cap): *No!* I don't /*do*/ that anymore! And this is a *R*ecapping *E*nhanced *V*ideo *I*ntelligence *E*vent *W*acom anyway! *It's just for thought-illustrations! /Moving on!/* -- Alt-Riff: She was out on the battlefield. Do you know if my wife Isabella is OK? Riff: I don't know. We've been out of touch. She's who I was going to contact after running this cable upstairs. -- Alt-Riff: Verify for me... That she's OK. Riff: And you find out for me if my Zoë's OK. Deal? -- Alt-Riff: Deal. But Riff, you can't tell Izzy I'm here... That I'm alive. Riff: /Dude!/ I /*understand!*/ Knowing I have a potential future wife waiting for me at home makes me almost want to bunk in with the frog too! -- Alt-Riff: *No, you giant idiot. I /love/ her!* I... you... | I dunno. Riff: If you care for her that much, it's /pretty messed up/ that you've been down here this whole time while she's tearing-herself-up over you up there. I mean, how long /have/ you been down here?/ -- Alt-Riff (putting the 'control cap' back on): I swore I'd never *R.E.V.I.E.W.* again... -- Alt-Riff: What you have to understand *is what this City was, what it became, and what it is as of today.* I should start from the arid world where I buried this dimension's Zoë. Decades later I found a window home, and laid eyes on what this city was... <musical note><***oooweeeoooooooooWEEEEooooooo...***><musical note> Riff: *REVIEWS* come with their own theme music? Alt-Riff: Theme songs and occasionally dancing girls. Riff: This song sounds a little derivative of the Doctor Who theme-song. Alt-Riff: It's an *homage!* Plus it's been stuck in my head the last *fifteen years!* Caption (on the monitor): What 4U City was... (The image on the monitor is a close up shot of Dr. Irving Schlock looking very sad and/or worried) === NOTE: Ref: "_R.E.C.A.P._ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20090921>" | '_Dr.Who_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20080303>'. | Flag | ||||
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Riff: Only because I need to understand what's going on here more than I need to annoy an old me. Alt-Riff: What luck. Caption on the monitor: What 4U City was. -- Caption on the monitor: What 4U City was... (Schlock (with one eye) in the foreground looking very sad; in the background is a silhouette of 4U City with the Central Tower and DFA Cannon; in the middle-ground is Riff, upon arrival, holding a very badly burned Zoë) -- </Flashback> Alt-Riff (narrating): The 'hows' and 'whys' of the betrayal, I've forgotten many, many decades ago. I know it was /my/ fault. I was far too trusting of Dr. Irving Schlock. (Alt-Riff kisses Izzy good-bye; there is a heart on their door, much like Monica's place; Zoë waits in the background) -- Alt-Riff (narrating): On that day of betrayal, all I allow myself to remember is kissing my wife goodbye that morning, and burying the charred body of Zoë in a random dimension that evening. (An image of a sun burning down on a mound of dirt, with a shovel sticking out of the ground, Riff standing ready with his laser cannon) -- Alt-Riff (narrating): I was in luck that I arrived in a technologically advanced wasteland. Most of the population was wiped out in some cataclysm long before Zoë and I arrived. (Alt-Riff walks into town, wearing a paisley scarf wrapped about his head and mouth to protect him from dust storms; Carib are visible in the background (in the town)) Billboard: </crossed out>everyone Loves</crossed out> POPCORN | (scrawled on top of the billboard:) There is no more Billboard 2: New Eco-Friendly SKY CARS | All natural | Methane Power! Newspaper headlines: MCRSFT & FCEBOK & OMHA STEK MERGR! Whu cud go wrng? -- Alt-Riff (narrating): I was determined to get back to my home dimension, to reunite with my wife, family, friends... and to seek revenge against Dr. Schlock. (Alt-Riff in the foreground tinkering, while Vealronica (female Carib) sweeps in the background) Sign: Riff & Vealronica's Lab of [obscured]ders --- Alt-Riff (narrating): For years upon years I worked on finding a way home. Eliminating the randomness of the D.F.A., mastering knowledge of moving through time as well as space, avoiding paradoxes, and opening windows and doorways across all of reality. (Riff standing in front of a "Dimensions Windows" where a NoFun tentacled one-eyed monster stares out) - (Riff is grabbed by the tentacled monster, while Vealronica stares dubiously at a corn-cob with eyes and sharp teeth, mouth open as if to bite; a female corn cob, with a curly cue on top, sits quietly with her eyes closed; "Dimensional Map" posted by the portal) --- Alt-Riff (narrating): And years after that spent searching, and searching... (Alt-Riff stands in the background grinning broadly and holding up a pitcher of beer; in the foreground Vealronica is tinkering with "Dimensional Windows 2.0 Projector", next to a still labeled "Beer", a sign hanging off of the still says "Works!") - (Alt-Riff sits with a stein of beer; Vealronica grins broadly holding up a bowl of popcorn in front of the "everyone Loves POPCORN" poster; "Now Playing DIMEN[obscured] 03.z6y.[obscured]" on the dimensional projector) - Alt-Riff (narrating): And searching... - (Alt-Riff in the foreground, holding up his stein of beer, munching from a bowl of popcorn, and grinning; on the dimensional projector: "Now Pla[obscured] Trolo[obscured] SPAC[obscured] PORN"; Vealronica in the background looking pissed and holding a rolling pin) - Alt-Riff (narrating): And searching... - (Alt-Riff wearing a control cap and holding a PS game controller; on the dimensional projector: "Now [obscured] PLA[obscured]STA[obscured]SHU[obscured] 6"; Vealronica in the background holding up a sign that says "PS5 Network still DOWN!") --- Alt-Riff (narrating): And after some thirty years, I /*saw it!*/ I saw home! And that all that was left of my /entire world/ was 4U City. On the dimensional projector: Now Pl[obscured] DIMEN[obscured] 9k.a4[obscured] HOM[obscured] </End flashback> === NOTE: You know, I put these reference comics below the strip now for handy reminders of where you've seen things before or to enhance a flashback of 'just because'. Sometimes there is strong plot-related significance, other times, it's like "hey that's neat!" This is probably neither but I didn't want anyone to feel they needed to reread all of Oceans Unmoving (unless they really want to) when I go "ref: _Crabis_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20050210>." 'Nuff said. | Ref: _Caribs_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20050210>. | Flag |
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