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-- (Aylee, hurt but still fighting; lying in a makeshift hospital with some sort of I.V.) -- (Izzy, understandably exhausted; sleeping in front of the computer that she's supposed to be using to steer the XT-34) -- (Oasis, uncertain, contemplative, sad.) -- (Schlock, sinister, happily thinking of what is to come; Frog looking after him uncertainly) -- (Torg, utterly worried; Riff, knowing they've lost but showing grim determination) -- (Zoë and Gwynn resolutely holding spacesuit hands; Zoë looking hopeful and optimistic; Gwynn, appearing nervous but ready; screws floating randomly around them; duct tape patches (from Riff's trip) visible) -- (A box labeled: "WARNING! SHARP RAZOR BLADES INSIDE! DO NOT OPEN ABOARD INFLATABLE SHIP!") -- Kiki (off panel; inside the box): Bun-Bun? Why couldn't we tell Zoë and Gwynn we're on board? === Transcriber's note: I borrowed heavily from sluggite randomlanguage's description <http://forums.sluggy.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=96069&p=588350#p588350> of the character's moods | Flag | ||||
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Chaz: I find deception fascinating. And it is nice to know I am now good for /two/ things. Torg (sadly): I am sorry that you're /actually/ dying. Chaz: I am a sword. I do not fear death. I bring death. And my absence would only be an iimprovement for the living. -- Torg (looking out the window of the station): I could just throw you back into Earth's atmosphere. It might take some time, but you would survive reentry and then you would survive. -- Torg: But later. I need you here with me for now, ol' buddy. Chaz: I understand. I, at least, know what I am for. -- Zoë (pointing to the computer monitor): So we're in this part of the command ring. hC Goon #1: Yes. It's mostly empty, the boss likes his privacy. -- (The computer monitor: An image of the space station layout) Label: *You Are Here.* Label: *Command Bridge* Label: NEW RING CONSTRUCTION Label: COMMAND Label: NEW BARRACKS Label: R&D -- Zoë: We're cut off on both sides until the repair-bots finish patching the ruptured outer canvases triggering the bulkheads to open. I assume the "Station Command Bridge" controls the station. hC Goon #1: Well yes. Kind of. hC Goon #2: The boss issues commands from there, but the operations of the station are all over. -- (Close up of the layout of their portion of the space station) Label: Airlock#01 Label: You Are Here. X Label: PATTERN DESIGNATES RUPTURES Label: SEALED EMERGENCY BULKHEADS Label: ARMED SECURITY DOORS -- Torg: I bet he's paranoid enough to override the whole station from there. Zoë (smiling): Torg, if we could get Izzy connected to Schlock's inner sanctum computer that's the whole ballgame! hC Goon #2: Good luck getting in without the the [sic: only one "the" is necessary] boss' DNA, finger and eyeball, nothing gets past the armed security doors. Zoë: That's the easiest part. Theres [sic: should be "There's" an open rupture between security and the bulkhead. -- (Closeup with an arrow pointing to the rupture right next to the armed security doors surrounding the "COMMAND BRIDGE") -- Torg (smiling): If we can get our space suits air'd up, and get into that section as they repair around us...? Zoë: We'll be on the *good* side of security when that bulkhead opens. Torg: *Brilliant!* Zoë: But I'm not sure what happens /after/ that. -- Torg: After that, Chaz and I will deal with whatever monster lies waiting for us! -- (A drooling and sleeping Frog is hugging an empty bottle of schnapps) <****SNORRRE...***> | Flag | ||||
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-- Zoë: The bad news is I can't make heads or tails out of this system. Can't contact Izzy at all! Torg: You're doing better than when I tried, Zoë. -- Torg (holding up a sloshed Frog in his left hand, and Kusari's uniform in the other hand): At least there's evidence that Gwynn is OK! Because it looks like she turned Kusari into a frog! And the spell component seems to be several bottles of schnapps! -- Frog (waking up and freaking out): ***WHAZAYU-DOIN'A-ME?!?*** Torg (dropping both Frog and Kusari's uniform, while simultaneously leaping backward; losing the hC sunglasses he had on in the meantime): */Gyah!/ It's a talking frog!* -- Frog (back on the floor amidst the schnapps bottles): */OW!/ | Sorry Agentz. I'm OK. Jess had a'lil too much schnappys, and needed a nappy! | Ho, that waz ratheuuuur clever duntcha think?* -- Torg (having leapt into Zoë's arms): *A talking frog! What the hell?!?* Zoë: Seriously, Torg? -- Torg: Mammals and inanimate objects are one thing, but talking amphibians just stretches credulity! -- Torg (having been dropped on the floor): /OW!/ Right in the schnapps! === NOTE: Ref: _Torg and Zoe last seen_ <http://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20180430> | _Frog last seen (asleep)_ <http://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20180416> | _Frog last seen awake_ <http://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20180312>. | Flag | ||||
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Animated sound effects: <**TAK**> <**TAK**> <**TAK**> -- Caption pointing to Torg's laptop: MESSAGE FROM SQUISHYDODO | SUBJECT: [STATUS] AYLEE -- Caption pointing to Zoe's laptop: TRIPLE ENCRYPTED MESSAGE FROM IZZY | SUBJECT: "IN CASE YOU GUYS DIDN'T BLOW UP" -- (Riff inspects his trenchcoat; a diagram taped onto the wall of the Mark 26 (25 precedes 26 and is crossed out)) -- (Riff pulls two capsules from his trenchcoat (which he is now wearing) and tosses them out) <**TOSS**> -- (An inflatable hoverbike and inflatable laser cannon animatedly appear) Animated sound effects: <****FWUMP****> <****FWUMP****> -- Riff (holding the inflatable laser cannon): Groovy --- Comic footer: /GROOVY!/ Sluggy Freelance is 23 years old today!!! === NOTE: *MY COMIC IS 23!* (_0_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=19970825>) | (_1_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=19980825>) | (_2_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=19990825>) | (_3_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20000825>) | (_4_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20010825>) | (_5_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20020825>) | (_6_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20030825>) | (_7_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20040825>) | (_8_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20050825>) | (_9_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20060825>) | (_10_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20070825>) | (_11_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20080825>) | (_12_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20090825>) | (_13_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20100825>) | (_14_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20110825>) | (_15_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20120825>) | (_16_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20130825>) | (_17_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20140825>) | (_18_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20150825>) | (_19_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20160825>) | (_20_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20170825>) | (_21_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=71#2018-08-25>) | (_22_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=72#2019-08-25>) | Flag | ||||
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Lower sign: All Rooms Now | ALEXA Enabled! -- Zoe (holding up a newspaper): Torg, have you seen /this?!?/ Newspaper: The Local Mulch | CROSSHAIRS MINI-MART | MASSACRE | Yet more bodies have been found in the basement of the crosshairs mini-Mart on the corner of Reilly and Owful leaves the townsfolk reeling. Gruesome descriptions of the victims vary but share a gruesome gruesomeness that defies our synonym software. The Crosshairs mini-mart chain, a subdivi- -- Torg (holding the newspaper): What is it? Zoe: It's called a 'newspaper'. It's like an 'analog' tablet. Torg: The brightness-setting is terrible, but the ads are unintrusive. -- Torg: /"The Crosshairs Mini-Mart Massacre"?/ This is a nightmare. Riff (off panel): Read between the lines, dude. The bodies were mangled but /drained of blood?/ This was the work of *vampires.* And if it's Sam's doing it's *your* fault, so /*you*/ deal with it. -- Torg: Riff, you're our resident monster-hunter. Are you not investigating this because it's vampire-related and you're afraid you might run into Izzy? Riff (off panel): I'm not afraid! -- Torg: Then why are you hiding under the bed? Riff (from under the bed): I'm not hiding, I'm under a motel bed, thus I'm bravely exploring the mysteries of the unknown. | Flag | ||||
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Riff (from under the motel bed): I just stay here, thank you. Oh, I think I found gum! -- Zoe: Torg, you can find Sam? Torg: I think I can and he's unfortunately not far. Zoe: Do you think he had something to do with the 'massacre'? Torg: Too much of a coincidence for him to be local. -- Riff (from under the bed): It's also a coincidence that we'd all converge on the same location. Why would Sam /*happen*/ to be anywhere near Aylee and Bun-Bun, and causing massacres *right* when we randomly show up? -- Torg: I'll try to figure that out. Zoe (handing Torg Chaz): You should take Chaz. -- Torg: I don't want to seem aggressive. Zoe: Want me to come along? Torg: No, it's too dangerous. <**Poing.**> (Bun-Bun poings onto Torg's shoulder) -- Zoe: Then you're taking Chaz. -- Torg: How about I just pick up some garlic on the way? Besides I totally believe Bun-Bun will keep me safe! Bun-Bun: You're adorable. -- Torg (smirking): Unless you're not coming? Bun-Bun: This place is boring and Turtle-Soup is in a mood. Mush, Nerd-Boy. Mush. | Flag | ||||
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<*TAK*> <*TAK*> <*INV*> -- Sam (shaking Torg's hand): *Torg! /Holy crap,/* whaddap? Bun-Bun: Hey Snaggletooth! Sam: /Bun-Bun!/ My *main* Bun... -- Sam: ...Bun...? | My main one-bun? I'll work on it. -- Street sign: <obscured>TON ST. Sign in window (behind Sam): THE VERY | UNIQUE | COFFEE HAUS Sam: How did you know where I was? -- </Flashback> Caption: PREVIOUSLY... Torg's myPhone screen: TORG, YOUR FRIEND | SAM HAS POSTED YET | ANOTHER SELFIE! || UNIQUE COFFEE HAUS | ON HAMILTON ST. 16.7 | MILES FROM YOU [myface] </End flashback> -- Sam: Who cares? I dig the trendy necklaces. But keep them away from me! Garlic makes me weak as a kitten! Bun-Bun: You don't say. -- Sam (transforming to vampire face): *Wait a minute!* I'm /*remembering*/ something! -- </Sam's hazy memory> (The burned remains of Sam angrily approach Riff and Izzy (only Riff is not entirely hazy) -- Sam's head: *Torg? Why?* Torg (holding Chaz in one hand and a stake in the other - about to stake Sam): I'm so sorry Sam. -- (A hazy vision of the Strakoistrat, a representation of the ruling party of Strakoi elders) -- (Sam remembers himself making shadow puppets; a hazy memory of sitting on a throne next to a female vampire on an adjoining throne and another female vampire kneeling in front of him in reverence) -- (Sam remembers someone putting a crown on him) Caption: The Coronation of King Sam the First </End Sam's hazy memories> -- Sam: Now I remember! I'm the /*King of the Vampires!*/ Torg: /Whew!/ Of course you are, Sam! -- Vampiress: *Step away from our King immediately or become our food! -- Torg: *No way!* Vampiress (pointing at Torg from off panel): /So be it!/ Torg (trying to back away): I meant /'No way'/ about the /'King thing'/ ... /*Crap!*/ === NOTE: Sam Flashback Panels Ref: (_1_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=68#2016-03-22>) (_2_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=68#2016-03-29>) (_3_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=68#2016-04-21>) (_4_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=68#2016-05-02>) (_5_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=68#2016-05-05>) More 'Sam' references in a comic or two. | Flag | ||||
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Zoë: And for he [sic: should be "the"] rest of my life. I was going to hyphenate. -- Gwynn (off panel; over the phone): **ZOË ISHA-HOEY? /*BWA*-HA-HA-HAHA!/** Kiki (completely covered with flour): No she ishn't! -- Gwynn (off panel; over the phone): Oh! I didn't know you had me on speaker phone! How are you, Kiki? Kiki (completely covered with flour; coughing up flour): I'll be in the wedding as the flour girl! (*)cough(*) Gwynn (off panel; over the phone): Cute! Kiki: Bye! -- Kiki: What's the next ChatPCP cake-making step, Aylee? Zoë: I don't think Izzie [sic: should be "Izzy"] did that on purpose! I know she's made herself unreachable to us, but if I see her again I'm going to... Aylee: *Give a severe beating!* -- <***BASH!***> <***BASH!***> <***BASH!***> <***BASH!***> <***BASH!***> <***BASH!***> <***BASH!***> ... -- Kiki (distressed; and completely covered in flour): You *over-mixed!* You've *ruined the cake /again!/* Aylee (holding a completely mangled mixing spoon): I'm sorry! Zoë: Gwynn? Call you back. -- Aylee: Zoë, what's "ChatPCP" say when you tell it we need to start over? Zoë (on Aylee's "Alien? Where?" laptop): It's a picture of Samuel L Jackson | "Permit me to re-torte". -- Zoë (annoyed; closing the laptop): I'm buying a cookbook. <CLOSE> | Flag | ||||
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Alt-Torg: Citizen! Drop the weapon before you are considered in violation of a crime. You may also lower your arms! -- Riff: How about I keep a-hold of the weapon and keep my arms passively in the air? I like keeping my options open until I understand what the hell is going on. -- Alt-Torg: Your weapon is pointy at both ends. It is threatening even with your hands up. Riff: I'm good like this... -- Alt-Torg: 4-9-9? Code 3. Izzy: Code 3 active. All audio and video scramble-lapped. -- (One of the REA-5 suits opens) <Psst!> <Psst!> -- <***PSHHHH...***> -- Alt-Torg (from the open suit): You don't have to worry about that REA-5 suit shooting you, Riff. It's empty and it's /yours./ -- Alt-Izzy: I think he's still loopy on the drugs, Torg. Alt-Torg: Not necessarily. Riff (hugging the empty REA-5 suit): Mine! <heart> | Flag | ||||
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-- Alarm: ***ALERT! ALERT! ALERT!*** ALL ACTIVE NORTHERN UNITS RESPOND TO A ROGUE M.I.S.! -- 6-Pack: "M.I.S."? Torg: /"Missing in Sadness."/ That's what our last identities were labeled by internal affairs when we vanished. 6-Pack: Riff still has the security combo on the old squad's REA-5! -- Alarm: THIS M.I.S. IS CONSIDERED ARMED AND MOPEY (On a computer screen, Riff's REA-5 is shown with the text "WANTED"; his REA-5 his wearing a badge that is an angry 'smiley' with Riff sunglasses) 6-Pack: That /sounds/ like our current Riff. -- Alt-Torg: That's definitely him and he wants us to know it. (Alt-Torg notices a note above Alt-Izzy, who has recollapsed on the couch; the note has the same Riff-angry face on it) -- Alt-Torg: And he's going to need backup on our end. -- 6-Pack: So now we're helping him instead of zapping him? Torg: I was wrong. He didn't hang us out to dry. Let me think. -- REA Unit #1: He went this way! And that makes me happy! REA Unit #2: I am overjoyed! Even though we lost him! (An REA-5 unit with a Riff badge on it watches from inside a pipe as the other two REA units walk by the opening) -- 6-Pack (off panel; over communications): *7433464866, this is Squad 2319. Please happily respond!* Riff's REA-5 Unit: Computer, close all communications! <**beep!**> Riff's REA-5 Unit: Sorry, 6-Pack. I don't need any help... yet. -- 6-Pack: He's not responding to hails. Alt-Torg: 6-Pack, take Izzy's REA-5 and head straight to the central tower. Riff will be sneaking through the pipes so you should get in position before he does. -- Alt-Torg: Observe and scan everything, sending it here, but don't radio us. 4U City will be watching and listening. 6-Pack: What will you do? Alt-Torg: Try to snap Izzy out of it before Riff needs help. Alt-Izzy: **barf** -- Alt-Torg: I also give you the option to switch jobs with me. 6-Pack: Sorry, boss I left my hip-waders back in the 'old country.' | Flag | ||||
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REA Cop 1: Not yet. Now it's just you. But you need help to keep her safe. Are you ready to see the judge now? Suspect (standing next to the "Judgement [sic: should be "Judgment"] Chute"): Yes! It's clear the judge will help me, /maaaan!/ Caption: Domestic abuse - suspect in custody. North District Housing - Judgment Center. -- Suspect (going down chute): ****WEEEEEE!**** Caption: Chute-cam -- REA Cop 1: Who knows what drives a promising young man like that to sadness. Maybe he got his meds mixed up, maybe a bad Y-frame over sedating. REA Cop 2: It's not our job to know how they get so sad. But facing unappreciative citizens day after day can really bring you down. -- (REA Cop 1 lifts REA Cop 2) REA Cop 2: Wait-/wait.../ I didn't mean /(*)I(*)/ was down.....! -- (REA Cop 1 throws REA Cop 2 into the judgment chute) REA Cop 2: Crap! Caption: Chute-cam -- (Riff lifts the opto-vision mask; Izzy is looking angrily at him) Opto-vision: Next on the Blue Channel: Judge Chutey! Izzy: You can't hide in the opto-vision all day, jerk-face. Torg wants to see you. Riff: I wasn't hiding. I was doing research! -- Alt-Izzy: Then are you ready to talk about those hurtful things you said about me? Alt-Izzy (as Riff slinks away in the background): Riff? | Flag | ||||
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<**PRY**> <***BASH!***> <***BASH!***> -- (The suit comes open, revealing Jeeves as the operator) Jeeves: Oh dear! -- Alt-Izzy: There's got to be /something/ I can do! Alt-Torg: You will *not* jeopardize our security by... Izzy: *Torg! Look at this! | Riff isn't in the REA-5! <TAK TAK TAK> -- (Alt-Torg looks stunned) -- Alt-Torg: We're going to need another Jeevz. -- Jeeves: Oh dear, OH DEAR! Which audio to play? Riff audio file 15... Riff (recorded): "A-ha! I knew you'd try a laser-based attack!" Jeeves: no... file 237? Riff (recorded): "A-ha! I knew you'd try a sardine-based attack!" (Harbinger/Alt-Oasis looks down at Jeeves) -- Jeeves: Ah... in case of certain doom... Initiating Riff audio file 2... Riff (recorded): Missed me again, 'Disasterness'! pbhbbbht. Riff (recorded; now through the speaker): Missed me again, 'Disasterness'. pbhbbbht. -- Jeeves: Would anyone care for some coffee? (Jeeves holds out explosives) <*BIP BIP*> -- (Harbinger leaps off of the REA-5, onto the other side of an REA-6) <Poing> <**BEEEEEEEEEEEEE**> -- <***BOOM!***> (Harbinger/Alt-Oasis crouches behind one of the REA-6's as the explosives go BOOM) | Flag | ||||
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REA-5 unit (presumably Alt-Strom): **(*)yawn(*)** Male 4U citizen (panicking in front of the REA-5 unit): /Cofffeeee!!!/ Signage: 4U EAST PLAZA Poster: A Full Time Champion 4U! Happiness is a Locally Embedded REA-6 -- Alt-Strom: Shakey [sic: should be "Shaky"] hand... Well that ain't good. -- Alt-Strom: Stupid dang coffee-maker empty... Announcement (over REA-communications): Attention *ALL* REA-5 units! -- Announcement (over REA-communications): We are having a massive domestic disturbance situation and need all units, active or otherwise to follow your squad to the on-screen location. -- Announcement (over REA-communications): Detain at least two disruptive citizens, one for each arm, and wait in line at your nearest judgment chute. -- Announcement (over REA-communications): Use your universal-guns to sedate unhappy citizens as needed. His Masterness hopes you can keep on smiling through this troubling day and aid your fellow REA-6 robots in making 4U City the place to be for whoever's [sic: should be "whomever's"] left! -- Alt-Strom: Whatever. Announcement (over REA-communications): Incoming coded message. Decoding... **(*)DING(*)** -- Alt-Torg (on REA video screen): The time is almost upon us, fellow revolutionaries of the... revolution! | Revolutionaries of the Riffolution...? [Code 3] -- Alt-Torg (on REA video screen): Eh, why give him all the credit? /*Torgolutionaries of the Riffolosers!*/ [Code 3] -- Alt-Torg (on REA video screen): Can we edit that out, Izzy? Maybe just start with some music, and cool digital effects? Alt-Izzy (on REA video screen): /Shhhhureee. (*)hic(*) I'll makeshurta du thad. (*)Weeeee(*)/ Alt-Torg (on REA video screen): Right. -- Alt-Torg (off panel): Anywho, during this morning's loadout, I want all Deep Scan REA-5's to be armed with Dee Eff Ays for emergency defensive maneuvers. All other REA-5's should use their standard universal-guns. REA-5 unit (looking at his stun-gun): I'll go change my loadout. -- Alt-Torg (on REA video screen): Follow any orders given by 4U City but keep within a mile of Central Tower. When I give the super secret code-phrase "Let's do something stupid!!!" you are to immediately attack any nearby REA-6's and move directly to the Central Tower where we take it floor by floor until we have 'His Masterness' himself. -- Alt-Torg (on REA video screen): By the way, do not fire your universal guns at any civilians. A hack attached to this message has programmed your tank-nanites to to make bullets. All of you are now armed with high-velocity armor piercing rounds. -- (Alt-Strom grabs his maneuvering lever) -- Poster under "East Plaza": A Full Time Champion 4U! | <Image of REA-6> | Happiness is a Locally Embedded REA-6 -- (Strom fires his universal gun) <**BRAKKITA BRAK!**> -- The poster under "East Plaza" now reads: A Full Time Champion 4U! | <Image of REA-6> | Happiness is a [obscured by bullet holes] ded REA-6 -- Alt-Strom (grinning): Good morning! === NOTE: Ref: _Riff's Nanite Hack in use_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/100524> | _A good general nanite-tank 4U City Coffee ref_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20090911>. | Flag | ||||
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Alt-Torg (from inside his REA-5 unit): Scary, Izzy? - Alt-Izzy (from inside her REA-5 Deep Scan unit): The Matty-bots tried using sedatives but the coffee addiction is overwhelming, turning the citizens into something out of /*nightmares!*/ -- </Izzy's depiction of events 'everywhere else'> <**FEEEEEE**> REA-6 #2: Did you hear that? -- 4U Citizens (dressed in their <ahem> sleepwear; in zombie-like behavior): **COAAAHFFFFFFF** -- 4U Citizens (off panel): **FFFFFEEE** REA-6 #1: Citizens, please return to your homes. REA-6 #2: Why aren't they /listening/ to us? -- 4U Citizens (dressed in their <ahem> sleepwear; in zombie-like behavior): **COAAHFFFEEEE** REA-6 #2 (off panel): There's *more* of them! -- REA-6 #2 (hugging REA-6 #1): *Hold me!* </End of Izzy's depiction of events 'everywhere else'> -- Alt-Torg (from inside his REA-5 unit (#7378464 8729)): Izzy, are you embellishing? Alt-Izzy (from inside her Deep Scan REA-5 unit (#46835)): Yeah it probably went more like /'Find them, dart them, drop 'em down the chute.'/ But two scared REA-6's hugging each other? /Soooo *cute!*/ -- Alt-Leo (from inside his REA-5 unit (#2266662255)): Izzy, just double-checking. You're /*not*/ the brains of the operation? Alt-Izzy: No! /*(*)I'm(*)* intelligence!/ Alt-Leo: Well until something happens, I'm just going to catch some shut-eye on autopilot. Alt-Angela (from inside her Deep Scan REA-5 unit (#264352)): Something is happening! Torg. The REA-6's are starting to send the rioting citizens to the judgment chutes. And by 'rioting citizens' I mean /the population'!/ -- Alt-Angela (from inside her Deep Scan REA-5 unit): We have about nine thousand REA-5 pilots checking in. - Alt-Torg (from inside his REA-5 unit): Damn. Over half of our revolution is out on 4U coffee withdrawal. Half our numbers, but still big enough that somebody's going to notice. And when that giant tower cannon starts targeting the buildings or the REA-5's we'll have no choice but to fight. Alt-Torg: But now we're way outnumbered by the REA-6s and the Central Tower defenses, including Harbinger. - Alt-Izzy (from inside her Deep Scan REA-5 unit): Torg, can we just stand around here? Alt-Torg (off panel): We wait. Until Riff gives us our twenty second [sic: should be "seconds"], or that giant cannon moves. -- (An REA-5 unit looks outside the building to where the sun is rising behind the DFA Cannon on the Central Tower) -- (In the meantime, Riff emerges from the pipe tunnels into a canal) -- (As he approaches the viewer, it becomes apparent that he has a rocket launcher slung across his back and has his grappling hook attached to his left arm) -- (As he approaches closer, his face shows angry determination, the hand in the grappling hook launcher held in a fist) === NOTE: Ref: _264352_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/110215> | _Riff's Grapple Gun_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20100604>. === Transcriber's note: From the reaction forums (sp. quincyNoodles and Xhin): 7378464 8729 = Serving Tray; 46835 = Intel; 2266662255 = Cannonball; and 264352 = Angela | Flag | ||||
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-- (The power goes off) Alt-Gennaro: Whut-oh. -- Alt-Torg (off panel; over communications): Izzy, where'd that explosion happen? Alt-Izzy (looking freaked): I don't know, Torg! I lost my live feed! I'm sending data but I'm not receiving /anything!/ -- 722733489: Reporting in sir! 722733489 from the north side. I've lost my feed too, but /the REA-6's have all *stopped moving!*/ -- Alt-Torg (looking a bit crazed): That's our *window!* Riff, wherever you are, /you did it!/ *All non-central units charge on the REA-6's while they're powerless and take those pillars of the community /down!/* === NOTE: Ref: When last we left off, there was an _explosion_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20110401>.... Transcriber's note: Thanks to s.i.l.: 722733489 = ScaredGuy | Flag | ||||
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-- Alt-Riff: Your Torg is up to his armpits in the groundwork for the "Research and Development War" that nearly destroyed us. Alt-Torg: 'Cause alt-me is a playa'! Alt-Riff: Stop that war. Or don't. Your call. God speed and good luck. Off with you. -- Riff: Are you /*sure*/ you found my home dimension? Alt-Riff: I've been doing portals for 80 years. This is the only thing in my life I /*am*/ sure of. Riff: Can I come back? Am I getting a 'Return Remote?' Alt-Riff: One-way-trip only. Good luck and goodbye forever. -- Riff: Can I take some technology back with me? It might help in the fight! Alt-Riff: *NO! You'll take /no technology from this world./* -- Alt-Riff: *I'd rather reboot you and park you on a shelf! /If you want to destroy your world with nanites or portals or REA-6's have the DIGNITY/ to do the legwork /your damn self./* Alt-Izzy: Honey! Calm down! -- Riff: I get it. You're thinking you'll "earn points" if you send me to save my world, and "lose points" if the tech I bring dooms it. I respect that. OK, let's do this. -- Alt-Torg: I thought we were going to have a going away party! Alt-Izzy: I don't think the Riffs want a party right now. -- Riff: Well I did bring coffee! How about a toast? Alt-Torg: That'd work! Riff: Izzy, the cup marked with an "I" is for you. I know you don't drink coffee; it's just coffee flavored water. -- Alt-Izzy: How thoughtful! Alt-Rammer: As mayor I'll do the honors. -- Alt-Rammer: "The arrows of almighty God are drawn! | Angels of death stand in the louring heavens! | Thousands of souls must seek the realms of light, | and walk together on the clouds of heaven! | Prepare, prepare!" -- Alt-Rammer: William Blake. We can never repay what you did in your last battle. Good luck on your next. Cheers. Alt-Riff: Here's to dumbass. -- Izzy (dropping her coffee cup in horror): /Riff?!?/ That was *real coffee!?! /You know I can't have real coffee!?!/* -- Riff: Izzy, /*all*/ coffee is coffee-flavored water. But it's not the coffee in that cup that should anger you. It's also at the bottom of a long list of regrets. -- Riff (as the 4U-City Council lies unconscious on the floor): Thanks for /finally/ giving me access to your time-machine, old-man. Since this is going to be a one-way trip, I'm changing the arrival-date a little. -- Riff: I'm going back in time to change history. Zoë will never have burned, never end up here, she'll live a good long happy life. -- Riff: I don't care if it erases me from existence, or what it does to this city. I'm going to make sure none of this ever happened. So I guess that means saying "sorry" is pretty pointless. -- <***ZAPPO!***> Riff: Sorry. -- (...and Riff was gone...) === Ref: "_Your Torg is up to his armpits in the groundwork for the 'Research and Development War'..._ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20110114>" | Flag | ||||
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-- (Alt-Torg and Alt-Izzy watch on a computer screen) Alt-Izzy (discombobulated): Where... where is Riff? Alt-Torg: *Anywhere he wants!* He just got every security eye focused squarely on that exploded REA-5! Izzy: He just used up our coffee reserves! /Where is he, so I can strangle him?/ -- (The viewing angle of the explosion moves out and around the building, so that we see the explosion aftermath from the side of the building) -- (The viewing angle continues to swing around to the back of the building, where Riff can be seen rappelling up) <wrrrrr> Riff: Well, my distraction blew up sooner than expected! -- (Riff looks into the tower window at a computer marked "Security Terminal #936") Riff: No matter. There's the computer I need. (Riff hits the stop button on the "Grapple Gun 3K" strapped to his arm) | Flag | ||||
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-- (Izzy lying on her back, eyes wide open, mouth open) Izzy: Gyahhhhouch... -- Alt-Izzy (sitting up): *What did you do to me?* Alt-Torg: Ran you through a double dose of cleansing cocktail. -- Alt-Izzy: *That's not healthy for me.* Alt-Torg (holding a note saying 'Izzy! Will call for help -Riff'): I needed you back! /*Riff*/ needs you back! -- Alt-Izzy: Riff... /*Oh no!*/ -- Alt-Izzy: /*Riff's going to the central tower to get information on Zoë!*/ Alt-Torg: We know. 6-pack's got eyes on him. He's in Central tower park, facing the front lobby, dealing with a guard-turret. The good news is the rain is lightening up. -- (Riff's REA suit, sporting an angry smiley with sunglasses, taped over the 4UCity symbol) -- Guard-turret: Citizen, you are in violation of 47 laws and 2043 misdemeanors. Guard-turret: Please exit the REA-5 suit and report to the nearest judgment Chute with a cheerful skip in your step. -- (Inside the tower; the silhouette of Riff facing the guard-turret is visible through the windows) Alt-Crystal: Good day, citizen! How may I direct you? Citizen: Is that the suspect the blue squads have been hunting for? Alt-Crystal: I don't monitor police information feeds and neither should you! I'm too happy to report you! -- Citizen: That makes me so happy! Alt-Crystal: Besides, the city will protect us from things like that total-downer outside! There's no need for us to be informed! -- Guard-turret (opening syringe): I will not ask again. <*WERRRRR cLAcKIT!!*> -- (Riff's REA-5 starts shooting...) <**BRAKKITA BRAKKITA BRAKKITA BRAKKITA**> -- (...completely demolished guard-turret) -- (Riff shoots through the windows of central tower, exposing citizens behind the glass, who dive for cover) <**BRAKKITA BRAKKITA BRAKKITA BRAKKITA**> -- (another completely destroyed guard turret) -- Alt-Torg: He's got /*bullets!?!*/ He's figured out a way to make the universal gun fire *armor-piercing bullets* instead of tranq-darts! *How does he do that?* Izzy: He can't just fight his way up the stairs of the tower, /can he?/ | Flag | ||||
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Riff (also angrily): You have /no idea/ what you were getting in the way of, Torg! What did you do to the cook and the waitress at the diner? -- Alt-Torg: 6-Pack's alternate identity worked for the Chem-Labs like you used to do. For months he'd been introducing cleansing-cocktail into the system. We can use 4U City's own daily-meds-distribution-system to wake up citizens anywhere and any time we want now! I did a test run this morning on the diner staff and it looks like it worked perfectly. </Flashback to Panel 3 of 02/28/11 comic> Alt-Torg: Come the morning of the revolution, the east side of 4U City, *a full 15% of the population,* will wake up out of their drug-induced slumber into this nightmare reality. -- Alt-Torg (grinning evilly): The chaos will force the 4U power structure to send every REA-5 and REA-6 to the east side for crowd control. Except the REA-5's won't be following their orders. They'll be following /*mine.*/ Riff: If I'm the badguy why are /*you*/ monologing? | That's /actually/ a really smart plan. -- Riff: But 15% won't be enough. Izzy, check the wire for buzz on the Pl4-C-Bo [sic: should be "Pl4-C-Boze"] Diner. Alt-Izzy: Hold on a sec... <Tak Tak Tak Tak> -- Alt-Izzy (shocked): It's *gone!* Its data's [sic: should be "data're" or "data are"] being scrubbed like it *never existed!* -- Riff: Because they took out the *entire building,* thanks to Torg. Torg: /*What?!?*/ === NOTE: Ref: _6-Pack and Chem-Vats_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/100414> | _Torg Flashback_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/110228>. | Flag | ||||
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Caption: DO-IT-YOUR-SELF SLUGGY FREELANCE ACTION FIGURES OF /REVOLUTION!/ Caption: TODAY'S FEATURE: Riff and Izzy --- Instructions: 'HIS MASTERNESS' DEMANDS YOU ENJOY THIS! *How do you download Sluggy Pawnz? FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF!* /But here are some guidelines.../ Right click on the Pawnz you want and select 'Save Image As'. Remember where you put it. *How do you print Sluggy Pawnz? FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF!* /But here are some guidelines.../ Double click the jpg file you downloaded. Choose file>print from whatever program opens it up. The jpg has the image at 100 dpi, meaning an average sized Pawnz will be approximately 1.25" tall once printed and folded. Print on good cardstock that works with your printer! *How do you make Sluggy Pawnz? FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF!* /But here are some guidelines.../ Apply glue where it makes sense. Fold where it makes sense. It should look like the photo when done. It helps to score lightly with an x-acto on edges you will fold. If you don't know what "scoring with an x-acto" means, /don't do it,/ Be on the lookout for guide doodles. --- *Tip of the Day:* Use a rolled up piece of scotch tape instead of glue to give Izzy's hair some bounce! --- The Sluggy Pawnz printout #1: (A cartoon sketch of the pawnz next to the actual Pawnz has cartoon drops drawn on the edges with lines pointing the drops: (<drop> = Apply Glue) | (Scissors next to the cartoon sketch, with an arrow pointing to the tuff of Riff's hair that will stick out in front): "Cut _Carefully_" Footnote: SLUGGY PAWNZ™ 4U Red RIFF™ www.sluggy.com © Pete Abrams, 2011. All rights reserved. --- The Sluggy Pawnz printout #2: Footnote: www.sluggy.com © Pete Abrams, 2011. All rights reserved. SLUGGY PAWNZ™ 4U City IZZY™ === NOTE: Ref: _Classic Pawnz_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20101225> | _Minion Master Pawnz Week_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20101227> | _More Classic Pawnz_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20110108>. | Flag |
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