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Crowd: ***CHEER!*** -- Wizard Yffi: There is a rare book on that sword that you may peruse. But know that it can kill anything it cuts in to. It is a powerful relic from beyond imagination. None, not even a lord nor king, should wield it. -- Wizard Yffi: Are you so enraptured that you do not hear me, Scribe? (In Yffi's right hand a spider drops by a thread, while another spider sits on his left hand...) -- (Yffi pulls his hands apart, revealing the fate web...) -- (...there is a tangle/spider over Chaz, and one over the Scribe, with a web connecting the two...) Scribe: Apologies, Master Yffi. I find this all very distracting! -- Wizard Yffi (grabbing his scribe by the arm): We must leave here at once. You are /*never*/ to return to Mercia. Scribe: /*What?!?*/ -- Scribe (angrily): But what of your audience? Are you *so possessive* that I cannot even /feign interest/ in a Mercian or... -- <**Poof.**> === Transcriber's note: The scribe's name is Edda. | Flag | ||||
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Spider (holding a lantern): *Run for your lives* Kiki: Wait for me, guys! -- (Spider fading away in the background, leaving Kiki behind) Kiki: Guys? -- Kiki (alone in the dark): /*Guys?*/ Who am I running from? -- Kiki: Where do I go? -- <CHK Woosh> Pumpkin King (lighting a match): Go? -- Pumpkin King (removing his top 'plug'): I do not know where you came from, stretched wingless bat. -- Pumpkin King (reaching into his head with the match): But I know where you'll be staying... --- Pumpkin King (in Kiki's face): *For the REST of your SHORT TORTURED LIFE!* - Kiki (scream stretched over two panels): /**EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE**/ - Pumpkin King: *HA, SCARED YA!* Actually you'll be staying in my guest room! It's quite nice! -- Kiki: **WHAAAAA!** Pumpkin King: What?!? | Flag | ||||
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=== </Flashback> (Torg checking up on Aylee in her cocoon, in the Kesandru House Well of Ghosts; his hand on her cocoon) -- Zoë: How's Aylee? Torg: No change. -- Gwynn: She's been in that cocoon for a few weeks now, right? Zoë: Gwynn, it's been almost *half a year!* -- Torg: She's *never* been in a cocoon this long before. Zoë: Torg, don't assume the worst. She's an alien. We can't tell if this is normal for her. -- Torg: She took on that fire dragon form in response to the cold-chamber she was in. She should have changed form the week she got out. But it's like she's stuck. Slowing down. Getting old. I don't know. </End first flashback> -- </Flashback> (Torg kneeling again at the cocoon, with a gift-wrapped box and a candle) </End second flashback> -- </Flashback> Bun-Bun: So that's my favorite Martian, huh? Riff: Aylee's been in that cocoon for a long time. I was able to detect an energy signature that was deteriorating. It was killing Torg to see her like this. -- Bun-Bun: So you tracked down Schlock. Riff: Thanks to the cloning thingy, he knows more about Aylee's physiology than anyone on the planet. And now we know she's still alive. Bun-Bun: What's in it for him? Riff: Technology exchange. I learn a bit about inflatable tech and he learns about my toys. So do me a favor, if you want to see Aylee come out of that cocoon, leave Dr. Schlock alone. </End third flashback> --- </Flashback> Torg: Hey Aylee, ol' girl. I miss you. -- Torg: Still no change? Riff: Nothing. -- Torg: If there's nothing new what does Schlock /do/ down here all day? Riff: Actually he's supposed to be here now. I wonder where he is! Schlock (peeking behind a door behind Torg and Riff): eep! -- Torg (off panel): You know how paranoid he is. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a spider-hole someplace for down time. -- Schlock (hiding in a spider hole behind a wall labeled "Inflatable Fake-Wall™"): Well it'd be more like a "secret lair" instead of "spider-hole" but my inflatable dig-bots are made of latex. </End fourth flashback> --- </Flashback> Schlock (hiding in a spider hole behind a wall labeled "Inflatable Fake-Wall™"): Before Hereti-Corp went under, I was lucky to get away from Daedalus with my life. It's been years but it looks like he's about to make a move. </End fifth flashback> --- </Flashback> Daedalus: Break out the piñata, guys! We have risen from the ashes! *Hereti-Corp is back!* </End sixth flashback> --- </Flashback> Riff: Listen, Torg, I know you like Aylee, but think about it! If her species' instincts are to take over worlds, how long can she fight it? -- Riff (flashback to the starship): You saw her devour an entire starship crew! You saw what her kind did to an entire space station! Torg: Do you know how hard it is to find a competent secretary? -- Riff: Just remember *this!* It's *my fault* she's here. If something goes wrong, it's my responsibility to stop her. </End seventh flashback> === Note: Links to the comics shown in the comic above in the order they appear: _040509_ <http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?=040509> | _041223_ <http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?=041223> | _060317_ <http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?=060317> | _060818_ <http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?=060818> | _061203_ <http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?=061203> | _980614_ <http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?=980614> | Flag | ||||
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Torg: We've got no choice, Zoë! You're doing great honey. Just lean on me all you need. Alt-Bun-Bun: We'll be fine with Torg here! Where are we going, Torg? Torg: It should be just over this ridge... -- Torg: Welcome to the Elder Village. This was where the Demon King and the Goddess of Good fought. --- Arachnaseuse: Isn't this nice? Reakk: Stop it before I nap, you crazy-woman! - Horribus (off panel): Little spider Little spider Let me in. - Arachnaseuse: Not without an appointment? --- <**RIIIP!**> (Horribus rips the top off of the Arachnaseuse's abode) -- (Horribus tosses the top off to the side and glares menacingly at Reakk and the Arachnaseuse) --- Horribus: Did you find Torg, Reakk? Reakk (pointing at the Arachnaseuse): She knows where he's going! Horribus: Then so shall we. -- (A menacing Horribus with mad flames emanating off of him is reflected in the many eyes of the Arachnaseuse) | Flag | ||||
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<***Ding Dong***> -- (The door opens...) <**CREAAaak**> (...and Aylee looks out the door) -- Torg (holding out the pizza box and lowering the glasses that hide his large eyes and winking): Hey Aylee! Free pizza! Pizza box: PIZZA by BERToloni | It's _BAH_licious! -- (Aylee breaks into a wide smile) -- Toppings on the pizza: Fly Gwynn to top of Crystal Castle in 10 minutes Side of pizza box: HOME MADE means I touched it! -- Torg (walking away and whistling): I wish I could be a fly on the wall to see those two surveillance teams squeeze each other! <musical note> -- (Agent N'aaaw has transformed from ditzy blonde girl to demon with muscular arms and Reakk-like teeth that pretty much take up her entire face; she has an hC agent in each of her hands and is 'squeezing' their necks) Fly on the wall - or rather, spider on van: Whu-oh === NOTE: Ref: the spider in the last panel might be going 'whu-oh' because of _this_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20090116>! | Flag | ||||
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Uncle Tempest, God of Fate (aka Uncle Time): You know, same-old, same-old. If it was full of surprises it wouldn't be fate, would it? I'm not getting that hug, am I? Sluggy: /Surprise./ Gwynn/Queen Siphaniana: He's a spider, and he's your uncle, so /you're part spider?!?/ Dunuloa: No, no, we just /call/ him uncle. He's like family. -- Dunuloa: Also he's not totally right in the head. Gwynn/Queen Siphaniana: Did he try on one of your necklaces? -- (Dunuloa glares at Gwynn/Queen Siphaniana) -- Gwynn/Queen Siphaniana: So if he's the God of Fate, why does he call himself 'Uncle Time'? Dunuloa: That's a new thing. He seems convinced now that he's /*actually*/ family. You know, the brother of Father Time?" [sic: extra quotation mark there?] Believe me, we're not spiders. My father humors him because they've been close for so long. -- Dunuloa: Besides, Time and Fate are irrevocably intertwined. By managing the fate web he manages both. So 'Uncle Time' isn't far off. He has much on his sholders [sic: should be "shoulders"]. -- Dunuloa: Maybe we all owe Uncle Tempest a little more respect, even if he /*is*/ a little kooky. Gwynn/Queen Siphaniana: So if something was out of place in fate or time and needed fixing...? Dunuloa: Uncle Tempest'd be the one to fix it. Why do you ask? -- Gwynn/Queen Siphaniana (approaching Uncle Tempest with her arms open): *Who wants a hug?* | Flag | ||||
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Torg (covering his mouth with his arm): She's gone. They're both gone. -- Torg: How could this happen in /less than two minutes?!?/ I was /*right there!?!*/ Bun-Bun (having been moved from the floor to the counter; coming to): *Ugh. My head. A demon.. Riff's dad too... teleport magic... -- Riff: My dad was here? Torg (shoving Riff and brandishing a fist): *Your dad. Great! <***SHOVE!***> Riff: /*Hey!?!*/ -- Aylee (anguished): Torg I'm /*so sorry!*/ I /*didn't know*/ they were in danger! Torg (tossing a capsule): Aylee? *Shut up!* -- Torg: This is the last time Zoë's going to be in danger because of Gwynn's... No, /*all of you. All of your freaking crap!*/ <***FWUMP!***> -- (Torg flies off on the inflatable bike, just as Sharon arrives...) Sharon: /What the hell/ was that? Who.. /What/ are you people? Riff: *Identify yourself!* (Riff reaches into his pocket and Aylee starts walking towards Sharon; a spider skitters across the front of Sharon's car...) -- (Another spider dangles from the top of the panel...) Sharon (holding up Syn'Thea La'Mort's "Fate-MAGIC" book): My name is Sharon Galll, and I think.. I think I'm meant to be here right now. === NOTE: Ref: "_Fate_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=69#2016-12-02> _Magic_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=70#2017-04-07>" by _Sin'Thea_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=71#2018-05-21> La'Mort_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=71#2018-12-21>. | Flag | ||||
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Torg: <musical note> **Bun*-Bun! Creepy cobweb-covered parchment *mail*-ail for ya! It blew in the door with a wind that chilled my *spi*-ine!* <musical note> -- Bun-Bun (swiping the letter out of his hands): Such as it is. <**SWIPE!**> -- Bun-Bun (reading the letter): Yes. Yes. Perfect. -- (Aylee is raking and eating leaves) <Poing!> Bun-Bun: Aylee, I'm going to need your help. We're going on a rescue mission. <**munch munch**> -- Aylee: This isn't going to almost land me in jail like that time you had me rescue that bag from that armored car? Bun-Bun (wiggling his nose): No promises. | Flag | ||||
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Riff: *NO!* -- <**CHOMP**> Sasha: *Riff!* Riff: Sasha ... She's hurt ... Run ... You can make it! -- (Cloney whips Riff around; Sasha runs) -- Riff (thinking): Tendrils in Aylee's mouth ... /Injecting me/ ... -- Riff (thinking): World's going black. Where are the grenades? -- (Riff grabs for the three grenades on his belt) Riff (thinking): *This is it!* -- (Sasha runs out of the house) -- (Cloney grabs the grenades from Riff) -- Riff (thinking): /*What's happening to me?*/ -- Cloney: I think I can get these pins back in. I'm rather dexterous when it comes to the small things. -- Cloney: There. Not that my hide couldn't take a grenade or three. Riff (thinking): I can't move ... But I /feel/ ... *hear* ... everything! -- Cloney: Let's chat. What you're feeling is a neurotoxin. Like a spider, I can poison my prey into alert incapacitation. It lasts hours, assuming I take that long to finish my meal. -- Cloney (walking out of the house with Riff in tow): Your friends are all alive, incapacitated and stacked in the backyard. A monument to you, Riff. -- Cloney (as she lowers him onto the stack of Halloween party-goers): Do you think I could make sixty people disappear at one time in one place without somebody noticing? I'm more discreet for the time being. Luckily I don't have to devour you and all your friends to break your spirit. I have proven that I can kill you all at will. -- Cloney (as she walks away through the gates): You know how it feels to be powerless. To be on the verge of death. To fail your friends. Hold on to that. Bottom line, if you or any of your friends interfere in my business again, I'll put away my 'kid gloves.' -- (View of the stack of people from above) -- <***CREAK!***> (Torg enters the yard from the basement doors) -- Torg: *Damn it! The one year where everybody parties all night 'til they all pass out and I spend it stuck in the basement!* | Flag | ||||
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-- Cloney (for now aka Aylee; in an enormous spider/crab form): /*You have no idea.*/ -- <**FWAP!**> Torg (having been grabbed by Aylee): Yipe! -- (Aylee begins to gnaw on Torg's head, but the intercom beeps) Cloney (for now aka Aylee): Gnaw Gnaw </**beep!**/> Gwynn (off panel; over intercom; somewhat out of it): Aylee, call... on line... two. -- Cloney (into the intercom): Gwynn, I told you to hold all of my calls. /*All of them! *Forever!!!**/ Gwynn (off panel; over intercom; somewhat out of it): Right. I'm sorry, I just bumped my head. Maybe a minor concussion. Not thinking straight. Sorry. -- Torg: *Aylee, wait!* Don't eat me! I've got something *important* to tell you! Cloney: This *better* be good! -- Caption: A minute later... (Torg crashes through a window...) <**KEE-RASH**> -- (...falls onto a lower roof, rolls off and crashes to the ground) <**Wap**> <*Roll*> <*Whump*> -- Guard: All right buddy. No unauthorized crashing through windows. (The guards zap him with tazers) <*(*)Tzzt(*)* *(*)Tzzt(*)*> -- (The guards then throw him out the front gate where Riff, Sasha and Bun-Bun are waiting) Riff (running towards Torg): Torg? *Torg!* -- Riff: *Torg, are you OK?* Torg (traumatized): I saw her. -- Torg: *I saw her!* It was horrible! She... /was/ horrible! She's changed forms again, Riff! ... The ultimate CEO boss. *Pure evil!* And I don't know what she's eating now, but I don't think it's potatoes. -- Sasha: *She tried to eat you?* Torg: She was going to, I think! But I talked her out of it. Sasha: What did you tell her? Torg: I invited her to our Halloween party. -- Sasha: And she threw you out the window? Didn't you tell her about the pumpkin-carving contest? With cool prizes? Torg: No-no, she's /happy/ to come to the party! Being thrown out the window was her /happy/ response! -- Riff: *You're very lucky to be alive, Torg. But you've put all our guests in unimaginable danger.* -- Riff: I mean, besides the danger they'll be in from the demon from the Dimension of Pain who comes by every Halloween to kill you and claim your soul. -- Torg: Is there time to mention the hungry mutating space alien on the invitations? Riff (giving a thumbs up): *We'll make time!* | Flag | ||||
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- (poorly-drawn buildings, with a poorly-drawn stick-figure in front dressed as Spiderman) Caption (upside down and gray): Tom Did It!... duh Written upside-down at the bottom of the comic: Tom Did It! ... duh | Flag | ||||
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-- </Flashback to Torg's vision> (a mass of ghosts (including one hanging from a noose)) </Pause flashback> -- Torg: It was like a veil was lifted, and I could see! The ghosts, Riff! They were everywhere! The /despair/ was everywhere! *What kind of slaughterhouse are we living in?* -- </Flashback to Torg's vision> (a mass of ghosts (including a spider and a cat)) </End flashback> -- Riff: Bun-Bun! *Bad bunny!* Torg: Riff, I don't think it was Bun-Bun! There were just too many... -- Torg: Aw, who am I kidding? *Bad, BAD, bunny!* Bun-Bun: Hey, I'm almost positive that I didn't kill lots of people in that house. | Flag | ||||
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(Torg is drinking a beer or a soda) <Glug Glug> -- Torg: Yeah, I can't tune Bert and Beth out, but I can tune out the others. And thank God! The bugs crawling over everything was ruining my appetite! Riff: Bugs? You saw ghost bugs? Torg (about to bite into a sandwich): And pets. A few cats and dogs and stuff. -- Riff: Odd. You know how many bugs die everyday in an average house? It'd be wall-to-wall bug-ghosts. Torg (chewing his sandwich): Madam Jujube said I'm only picking up the troubled ones. <Chew Chew> -- Spider Ghost: I'm seeking vengeance on the bottom of the shoe that destroyed me! Ant Ghost: /*Shoe?*/ Try getting slow roasted by a couple of kids with a magnifying glass! Roach Ghost: /*Hi!*/ I'm new here, and I'm in that dude's mouth! | Flag | ||||
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Bun-Bun: Any minute. It'll appear out of the blue in 9.4 miles. -- Aylee: "Appear out of the blue?" Bun-Bun: It's a "magical" land. I think "magical" is ancient Greek for "pain in my butt." -- Peter Pan: Wendy, let's drop the two third wheels! Wendy: Don't be silly, Peter! How can we have *two* third wheels? -- (Bun-Bun -- riding on Aylee's back -- looks annoyed; very annoyed) -- Bun-Bun: We ARE following the THIRD star on the left? Aylee: The left of /what?/ There's like a zillion stars! Bun-Bun: /Grrrr./ Crappy online directions! -- Basphomy: Kiki's upstairs crying again. I guess the pretty colors in this room wasn't enough to soften you jumping out of the closet threatening to eat her soul. -- (As Basphomy walks by the cans of pretty color paints, she puts a hand on one labled "Pig Flesh") Basphomy: You're so determined to convince this useless longmouse that /"Halloween-scares"/ are all a joke that *Halloween itself* is becoming a joke! -- Basphomy: She's weakening you and you can't see it. -- Basphomy: Tomorrow when the Obsidian Gate opens, the horrid armies of Halloween monsters will be replaced by some good natured ribbing and a bowl of candy. Pumpkin King: *Then* maybe we can get this Gate taken down. -- Basphomy: You could take it down whenever you want. It's *me* and mine you're afraid of releasing. You *are* afraid, aren't you? -- Pumpkin King (rising very tall and radiating): *ENOUGH!* I am the Great Pumpkinheaded King of Halloween and if you speak to me in such a manner again I SHALL TAKE YOU TO THE GREAT HALL AND *TOSS YOU OUT OF TIME ITSELF!* Basphomy (kneeling in fearful reverence): F-forgive me, King. My convictions overcome my sensibilities. -- Pumpkin King: I've sent a dispatch for this "Bun-bun" to come retrieve his ferret this very mischief night. I will allow Bun-bun to take his friend Kiki from my kingdom before the gates open. And we will be done with it. -- Pumpkin King: Hmmm. There is another option. We know this Bun-bun no longer wants to be the Easter Bunny. Pumpkin King: So I grant you leave to challenge him by right of Caste, if you wish. -- Basphomy: You want me to slay a rabbit to gain control of Easter? Pumpkin King: I think you'd make an adorable Easter Bunny, and we know you're burning to be in charge of something. -- Basphomy: And using me to rid the world of Bun-bun would put you in the good graces of Christmas; a powerful ally. -- Pumpkin King: What do I care about the other holidays? All I know is if I had hair I'd want you out of it. | Consider it, Basphomy. -- <**DIE! FOOL!**> <*DIE! DIE! DIE!*> <*None shall escape my vengeance!!!!*> <*NO! NO!*> <*OW MY E[obscured]*> <*I shall feast upon your [obscured]*> <*HA HA HA!*> <*PA[obscured]NAL!!!*> -- Spider: Great Pumpkinheaded King! A rabbit and red dragon have arrived! Pumpkin King: I heard the doorbell. | Flag | ||||
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Fate Spider/Chronicle: This car of zombies is wondering where Riff is, since Torg was not the only one to call this location "home." | At least one of them is smarter than your average zombie. Smart Zombie: How many times must I explain this to you morons? The GPS we swiped from the vehicle of the dudes who shot up our safe house has /*this*/ location set as home. So we'll check by *every day* until we find those bastards and /*get some revenge.*/ -- One-Eyed zombie: /***MOAAAN!***/ Smart Zombie: Yo, I'm hungry *too!* In /fact,/ I'm the only one of you who had the brains to sneak out the back when they came blasting in the front, so I need to eat more than any of you to keep my brain going. Chef (zombie with "CHEF" carved into his forehead): Me smart too. Smart Zombie: Yeah, but your insights lack depth. Chef: /*Awww.*/ Zombie #4: /***GIRRRL! FOOOD!***/ Smart Zombie: I see her. OK, guys, let me do the talking. -- Smart Zombie: Hello, little lady! Oasis: Hello! Smart Zombie: We're looking for the owner of this GPS. Says here our friend's name is "Riff" and this is supposed to be his home. -- Oasis (looking anime-ecstatic): *Riff!* He's friends with *Torg!* This is supposed to be Torg's home *too!* Smart Zombie: So you know Riff? Oasis: *Yes! Of course! I'm Torg's fiancé! Riff will be the best man at our wedding!* -- Smart Zombie: Do you know where this Torg and Riff are? Oasis: No. *Do you?* Smart Zombie: No. Still, eating a blushing bride sounds like a good way to serve up revenge! Dibs on the sweet meats! Oasis: /Excuse me?/ -- (Zombie #4 pulls out an axe and some rope; One-Eyed zombie stands behind Oasis with his mouth open and arms raised; Chef puts on a chef hat; and Smart reaches for her waist; beneath Oasis's cloak, her knives are just barely visible) Smart Zombie: I'm sorry dear! I wasn't talking to you just then. Now we're about to do some terrible things to you, we'd appreciate if you kept the screaming to a minimum. Oasis: "Do unto others," I always say! === NOTE: _Zombies Steal GPS_ <http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=090219> | _Oasis remembers Riff is Best Man_ <http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=000519>. | Flag | ||||
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(Dr. Irving Schlock is looking out an office window, looking sad or worried) -- Frog: Why do you seem so troubled, /*Irrrrving?*/ Schlock: Many things. -- (Schlock continues to stare out the window in sad silence) -- Schlock: At least I can apologize for one. | I'm sorry I couldn't trust you to go after Corsica that day I ordered you confined to your office. -- Frog: Oh pish-posh, Irving. Corsica and I are through. It took me the majority of a year to realize, but I bear her no ill will. -- Frog: And saying you're a little paranoid and I'm a little headstrong would be like saying Corsica's underbelly is a /little/ warty, ha-*HA!* And you can ask Gennaro about that, ha-/*HA!*/ -- (Frog sits smiling...) -- Frog: Because she's very warty. -- Frog: Everything is going swimmingly, Irving! With Riff dead and gone you have no repercussions selling his technology to the military! Not only is the government contracts [sic: should be "contract" (or "are")] another good revenue stream for the company, but you've opened our R&D to delightful new "materials" we can obtain without the government raising an eyebrow. We even have Oasis. -- Schlock: And I have the data I scanned during the Oasis attack, it all falls into place. All I have to do is track Torg to Dr. Steve's lab and I'll finally have everything I need. Nothing to worry about. -- Schlock: /*Except that my plan should have failed!*/ Instead of negotiating Oasis under our thumb I caused so many deaths and sent her on a rogue rampage. -- Schlock: And in the end I got everything I planned for! And since (*)I(*) didn't cause my plan to work, I humbly ask you, Frog, *who did?!?* -- Reynold Strom (aka Nash Straw; over the video-phone): Dr. Schlock? Reynold Strom here. Torg and a few of his recent acquaintances have vanished. Schlock (to the video-phone): What? That's /unacceptable!/ Don't waste my time with this: Just tell me when you've *located* him. -- Strom (over the video phone): This is a professional wipe. He is gone. I /literally/ do *not* have a first place to start looking. Strom (over the video phone): Credit cards, bank transactions, various street and business security cams, all recent records of him existing.... expunged. -- Schlock (to the video-phone): Find him, Strom! *Find him!* <*(*)BEEP(*) CALL DISCONNECTED.*> -- Frog: Look at the bright side Irving! Without Torg to follow, it was all for nothing, /wot?/ No need to be paranoid of someone else pulling the strings, eh? -- Frog: I'll let myself out. | of my OWN office. | (*)sigh(*) -- (Schlock returns to looking sadly out the office window) -- (A spider dangles down from the window before Schlock) === NOTE: Major Ref: _Schlock reveals that Torg is the key finding [sic: should be "to finding"] Dr. Steve's Base-Lab, and that Riff's death at Oasis' hands would set him on that path_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/081210>. _Frog Ordered Confined to Office_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/090320> Ref | _Random Corsica-Gennaro Ref_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/081209>. Fun Fact: Did you know "Pish Posh" has only been used _4 times in Sluggy history, and by four separate characters?_ <http://sluggy.info/search/?s=pish+posh>? | Flag | ||||
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Sasha: I'm all clean, dressed and bandaged, and so are you. Now if you're done being strangely uncomfortable with both our bodies, could you finish telling me what happened to you and Kiki last week? -- (Sasha is looking at Torg expectantly; Torg is staring at Sasha's iiiii's) -- (Torg is still staring at Sasha's iiiii's; Sasha is mildly irritated and points to her eyes) Sasha: Torg, my eyes are up here. -- Torg (looking away; embarrassed): err... right! So, where was I? Sasha: You wanted to get a better view of the place where Dr. Steve's compound was, so you went to Riff's secret underground lab. -- </Flashbacks> (Dr. Shlock in his spider hole behind his "Inflatable Fake Wall™"; Torg and Riff walking through the Digbot tunnels away from a sign saying "EXIT" and toward a sign saying "LVL 3"; music coming from a bar with the signs "RUSTY BALLOON" "LADIES NIGHT NO COVER FOR FEMALES") Torg (narrating): It actually started as a basement lair for Dr. Schlock. He had these inflatable "digbots" with orders to replicate themselves, expand the lab, and improve and maintain systems. | There were only about a hundred of the critters working when Riff took over. They even had their own bar. </End flashbacks> -- </Resume (other) flashback> (Torg is all in black with Kiki on his shoulder; behind him is a ladder going up and an [EXIT] sign) Torg (narrating): That was a while ago. They had been left to themselves for a long time. My guess is that they had been busy. -- (Torg and Kiki are standing near the exit of a huge Digbot mall with digbots everywhere; signs say "COMING SOON: CHANGE TESLA" "CINNABOT" "DIPPIN' BOTZ" "BLING" "Burger Meister" an incomplete "RUSTY BALLOON" and "OUR LEADER" with a sculpture of the brain digbot; there is also a hardware store) </Pause flashback> === NOTE: Ref: _Everything Digbot_ <http://sluggy.info/search/?s=digbot>. | Flag | ||||
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Riff: Because you alerted Aitch to the company stealing his game and then bleated about camping, /indirectly/ sending all those campers to their doom. -- Zoë (slumping over): Oh yeah. Torg: Nonsense. Aitch would have found out anyway. If you didn't talk to Aitch, Riff wouldn't have known where to go to stop it. It could have gone national. You /indirectly *saved*/ lives, Zoë. -- (A (fate?) spider hangs from the ceiling...) Zoë: /Indirectly/ or not, I just wish I knew why we always seem to be in the middle of "it," whatever "it" is. Torg: Well right now, /*"it"*/ is this board game! -- Zoë (reading a pamphlet titled "The Kettlers of Satán <image of a kettle over flames> Rules!"): I'm still fuzzy on the rules. Torg (tossing the dice): In *'Kettlers of Satán,'* you're trying to be the first to serve "high tea" in hell. Riff rolled "7" on his turn so he controls the "Hell Roaster." Now I roll for appetizer resources. -- Torg (holding up a "Cocktail WEENIE" card): What luck! I got the Cocktail Weenie card! Now I can trade resources. -- Torg: Ahem. Riff, I'd like to have my nuts roasted. What do you want to trade? Riff: I need your nuts. How about I roast the weenie you grabbed, and you give me your nuts? -- Torg (angrily): I'm going to keep my weenie *and* my nuts /*in my hand,*/ thank-you-very-much. Zoë (butting in, and holding up to melon cards): Does anyone want my melons? -- Torg (angrily): *Put those away, please.* If I was interested in your melons I would have asked you to whip them out! You can pass around your melons on /*your*/ turn. -- Zoë (annoyed): Well, /this/ game is a bust. Torg: I know it's hard waiting for something to happen, but sooner or later the waiting ends. <***RING.***> -- (The phone (land line)) <***RING.***> -- (Riff stands up, worried; Zoë is startled) <***RING.***> -- (Kiki and Bun-Bun both pause and look up from their game of "Balls to other Balls") <***RING.***> -- Torg (into the phone in shadow): Hello? --- Comic footer: SAFEHOUSE /THE END/ === NOTE: Ref: Torg was _Awaiting_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/110704> | a _Phone_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/110801> | _Call_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20110826>... Social Ref: For the record,' Settlers of Catan' is a great game but because of the eventuality of trading Sheep for Wood, I believe it is a Federal law that there be at least one Sheep/Wood double entendre joke per game, most likely more. From that absolute rule came Sluggy's' Kettleres of Satán.' | Flag | ||||
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Weapons Tech Elton: The heavy DFA lacks the ingenious targeting aspect of the standard DFA's unique energy signature. Blackboard: Welcome New R.E.A. Pilots & Guides! | <arrow from R.E.A.> Robotic Exoskeleten Armor | <arrow to the speaker> Weapons Tech Elton | Dimensional Flux Agitator [D.F.A.]® | <arrow to the butt end of the weapon> My End | <arrow to the front end of the weapon> Zappy End | Energy Type: "Unobtazium" (On Weapon Tech Elton's desk sits what is obvious meant to look like an apple - except that it has legs; is it a DigBot or is it a Fate Spider attempting to disguise itself as an apple?) -- REA Pilot and Guide Trainees (especially Chip and Mark): Huh? -- Weapons Tech Elton: It's like a scalpel and surgeon all in one. The DFA is 'smart enough' to carve out the entire target, but not if you miss! -- REA Pilot and Guide Trainees (especially Chip and Mark): Huh? -- Weapons Tech Elton: If you shoot a man's shoe, the energy will work around an entire target and then the shoe, the man, and everything in his pockets will be fluxed into a random dimension. But if you shoot the ground just a hair under the shoe, it will not flux the man at all. And trying to find where "the floor ends" is a trickier process for the DFA -- REA Pilot and Guide Trainees (especially Chip and Mark): Huh? -- Weapons Tech Elton: *You don't need a head-shot but don't miss!* </End Flashback> -- Chip: I thought we were dead! I thought she found out about you hiding Crushestro! Mark: I didn't hide him! And "I don't know what you're talking about Chip!" -- Chip: You blasted the ground deep *under him* and then *over him!* He wasn't fluxed! He got buried, and only I was able to notice it with your system-glitches! Mark (grabbing Chip by the collar): Well then we're fine as long as he stays buried dude! As in rest in peace? *And /"We don't know what we're talking about Chip!"* -- Interpanel banner: FLASHBACK: TIME SINCE CHINESE MILITARY SATELLITE COVERAGE: +00:04:32 -- (A heavy rain falls in a deep hole caused by the DFAs) -- (A shiny hand punches out from beneath the rubble at the bottom of the hole) -- Comic Footer: THE RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT WARS - EPILOGUE OF SIGNIFICANCE - END | Flag | ||||
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Sluggy, God of Power (aka Bun-Bun): More like, /*'What*/ is he?' Us gods can choose our form. -- Sluggy: The Krig popped his height up a foot or three. Scrawny Symachus filled himself out. But, you sir, you went whole-hog. Uncle Tempest, God of Fate (aka Uncle Time): It's the /*food!*/ Sluggy: Clearly, you just ate a whole hog. -- Uncle Tempest (off panel): You don't understand! You spend your whole life eating a *poison-laced liquefied diet* and suddenly you are introduced to fresh baked *flatbread and roast camel?* There's no going back for me. -- Uncle Tempest: You could go human too, my friend! Sluggy: That ship has sailed. Besides I like being the same bunny I always was. Keepin' it real. -- Gwynn/Queen Siphaniana (mind blown): He's /not human?/ Sluggy: Tempest, here, was originally a spider. -- Uncle Tempest: So about that hug? I'm a good hugger even with only two arms! Gwynn/Queen Siphaniana (whipping off her shoe and getting ready to attack Tempest with it): I'm holding a shoe, your natural enemy, and I /*will use it!*/ | Flag |
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